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Series 13, episode one
Doesn’t time fly? It feels like only a few months ago that we were toasting the jungle triumph of Charlie Brooks. And already we’ve completely forgotten who she was. The wheels of celebrity whoring have ground through another ruthless, relentless year. And so, the time has come for us to survey another batch of Z-listers who will suffer the trials of public humiliation in the dubious care of the nation’s favourite Geordie sadists Ant and Dec.
This year’s rumoured participants included Chris Huhne and Paul Gascoigne, but fortunately ITV saw sense / were priced out of the market for the latter. Instead, we've got professional bellend Joey Essex (obviously), Steve Davis (a man who's reputation rests on being boring), a model, some soap stars and Carlton from 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air'. No word yet on whether the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will be making a late appearance. Certain to be a tawdry business, likely to be guiltily addictive all the same.