Statue Stories Chicago

“It’s the same thing all women should realize about themselves. Other people’s judgments are wrong.”

TV empress Shonda Rhimes gives her writing talent and voice to Chicago’s voluptuous Miró, who’s taking a stand for herself and women everywhere. Initially met with criticism and protest in 1981, the awkward prong-topped figure advocates for her right to take up space, proudly flaunts her proportions and lets critics know she’s not going anywhere. Originally named The Sun, The Moon and One Star, this Chicago shines extra bright in Rhimes’s takedown of body shamers and championing of self-love. Preach! 

“Can I ask you a question? What am I? Because I don’t know!”

Since 1967, we’ve been scratching our heads over Picasso’s baffling beast. Turns out, so has she. Voiced by Tony Award–winning Deanna Dunagan, in a monologue by playwright Mickle Maher, the Chicago Picasso vents about loneliness, identity confusion and about how kids slide down her while she remains barren. We’re thrilled to learn that Picasso’s bizarre gift to this city is just as weird and wonderful as we’d always imagined. 

“I’m very fortunate to have pants.” 

Steve Carell can’t help but take the bait to deliver a stream of jokes so bad, they’re great. German artist Stephan Balkenhol created the giant fish-wielding figure that has called Shedd Aquarium home since 2001, and the rest is fish-tory. Hightail it to the Shedd yourself to bust a gut with punny-man Carell and his infectious laugh.

“A lot of people lie down on the couch.… Their friends take a picture, and when they get back home, they’ll say, ‘I was in Chicago. I got psychoanalyzed by Bob Newhart!’”

The statue of Bob Newhart in his role as Bob Hartley comes to life through his own words. Relax on Bob’s couch while the comedy legend fawns all over our city and citizens. TV Land commissioned the homage and planted him on Michigan Ave in 2004, but these days you can come say “Hi, Bob!” at his retirement home on Navy Pier. 

“Rumor has it my name is the Bean, which frankly I find a bit reductive.”

Since its debut in 2006, both locals and clamoring tourists have referred to Anish Kapoor’s legume-shaped mirror as the Bean. Well apparently someone’s a little salty. Why Schwimmer’s voice fits so perfectly with Cloud Gate we can’t quite explain, but there’s something so frickin’ brilliant about getting accosted by our favorite friend as he invites us to reflect upon our own existence. 

“I had to wait nearly 300 years after my death before I was cast in anything again.”

“Did you know I discovered America almost 500 years before Columbus? Sure, at the time I called it Vinland, but he thought it was the West Indes. I mean, come on.”

“We all need a little something to keep going.”

 Who better to tell us to be compassionate than Downtown Abbey’s Elizabeth McGovern? The Evanston native gives voice to Hebe, daughter of Zeus and goddess of youth, and reminds us that, indeed, everyone deserves a drop to drink. Part of Rosenberg Fountain in Grant Park, she tells us of the noble mission of one young newsboy in the late 1800s who, even when delivering papers in the hot city sun, was denied water. When he became rich many years later, he commissioned the fountain near his childhood home to serve as a plea to the community—follow the golden rule. Yep. This one is serious.

“We used to be guards, but now we’re celebrities.”

“I was a person of mean origins whose parents could not read.”