The seven best things to do this weekend in Chicago

1. Party it up for St. Patrick’s Day

Hey, have you heard? It’s an Irish religious holiday that Americans have co-opted as an excuse to get drunk! And nowhere is it quite as absurd as Chicago, where the party goes all week long. Kick your Saturday off by watching the river turn green, then head over to the St. Patrick’s Day parade on Columbus Dr.  (Dyeing of the River, Michigan Ave and Wacker Dr, Sat 9am; Chicago St. Patrick’s Day Parade, Columbus Dr and Balbo Dr, Sat 12pm. Free)

2. Go to the “real” parade

Beverly folks will go to their grave claiming the South Side Irish Parade is the real St. Patrick’s Day parade—and hey, maybe they’re onto something. The Western Ave celebration boasts bagpipes, Irish dancers, and fewer open containers than in the old days. (Western Ave from 103^rd St to 115^th St, Sun 12pm. Free)

3. Groove to catchy synth-rock

Maybe you don’t think you know Phantogram, but you’ve definitely heard their work. The duo’s catchy beats are frequently the soundtrack of commercials and the backbone of hip-hop tracks. Catch them in concert this Saturday night. (Riviera Theatre, 4746 N Racine Ave, Sat 8pm. $30)

4. Take a taste of spring

The annual Maple Sugaring Spring Fever is back again this weekend. Take the family out to the ’burbs to learn how to tap maple trees and collect sap. Just like Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote it. (Naper Settlement, 523 S Webster St in Naperville, Sat 10am, Sun 1pm. $12 adults, $10 seniors, $8 ages 4–12)

5. Catch great local stand-ups

If you haven’t been to a Lincoln Lodge show, make this weekend your inaugural trip. The rotating group of talented stand-up comics is a Chicago institution. And, have you heard? They’re looking for a permanent home. (Subterranean, 2011 W North Ave, Fri 8pm. $10 suggested donation)

6. Take a look at the art of dance

The MCA’s ongoing exhibition Merce Cunningham: Common Time is not to be missed. The multimedia examination of dance puts choreographer Merce Cunningham’s work in the spotlight. (Museum of Contemporary Art, 220 E Chicago Ave, Fri–Sun 10am–5pm. $12 suggested admission)

7. Get a jump-start on baseball season—Well, sort of

Craving the Cubbies? Check out Strike Out With Jake Arrieta, a new weekly improv show hosted by the pitching ace himself (a.k.a., comedian Rob Mor). (Under the Gun Theater, 956 W Newport Ave, Fri 7:30pm. $12)

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