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Chicago isn’t quite as horny as Joliet, according to a new study

A study ranking the horniest cities in America confirms that Chicagoans are pretty aroused.

Zach Long
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Zach Long
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Craving some intimate human contact after months spent in quarantine? You're definitely not alone. A new study published by lawn care company LawnStarter set out to find the horniest cities in America (we're not exactly sure how this impacts lawns), ranking 200 of the biggest cities in the country based on how much the folks living in those places want to knock boots. And, yes, Chicago made the cut!

The ranking took "nine key indicators of sexual arousal" into consideration, including the popularity of adult content searches via Google, sex toy sales, the share of the population that's single and the prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases (we're pretty sure that last number is the opposite of arousing). The study also surveyed nearly 800 adults across the U.S. to "gauge their libido levels during and after the pandemic."

The resulting rankings are... interesting, to say the least. The study names Paradise, NV, just outside of Las Vegas, as the horniest city in the U.S., and the highest ranked Illinois city on the list is Joliet, coming in at number 69—nice! Chicago falls at number 87 on the list, thanks mostly to the popularity of adult content searches via Google, and access to adult entertainment and shops that sell sex toys and lingerie. In true Midwestern fashion, Chicagoan are medium-horny, or maybe just a little modest about how horny they actually are—at least if this study is to be believed.

Other Illinois cities that made the rankings include Aurora (114) and Rockford (154). Suburban Naperville came in at number 193 on the list—one of the 10 least horny cities ranked by the study. At least Naperville residents who are ready to get busy can fairly easily get to Joliet or Chicago to meet folks who are supposedly more inclined to get between the sheets.

The study also includes a few other interesting sex-related findings that might be helpful for singles ready to mingle, including the fact that more than half of those surveyed reported that they plan to have more sex after getting vaccinated (hot vax summer, indeed). The majority of people surveyed also reported that their sex drive has remained the same as it was before the pandemic and that they don't use dating apps to find a hookup. Well, at least they don't readily admit to finding partners that way.

As with any study, take these findings with a grain of salt. And stay safe if you're planning to celebrate National Sex Day on June 9 (6/9... a pretty nice date). 

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