If you’ve found yourself keeping up with the British royal family in ways you could've never imagined, you’re not alone. Much of the internet has been captivated by #KateGate, an increasingly global concern over the whereabouts of Kate Middleton, wife of Prince William, after abdominal surgery in January 2024. Conspiracy theorists have taken to X and TikTok, submitting their suspicions of why her last confirmed public sighting was months ago and why Buckingham Palace is so bad at crisis communications. After a botched Mother’s Day photograph retracted by the Associated Press due to supposed manipulation, and a video of the royal couple, obtained by TMZ, brought forth more questions than answers, Kate Middleton really could be anywhere.
It could be senseless to assume the Buckingham Palace-based princess would find herself nearly 4,000 miles away in the Windy City, but any possibility might not be too far-fetched at this point. Here are our best guesses for places Catherine, Princess of Wales, could be hiding in Chicago.
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Places Kate Middleton could be hiding in Chicago:
1. Lower Wacker Drive
This option needs little explanation. Lower Wacker Drive, safe from GPS signals and above-ground civilization, is definitely the place for anyone looking to get away and stay hidden.
2. The Pedway
Chicago’s underground labyrinth, the Pedway, is another great option for the Princess of Wales. Legend has it that some poor unfortunate souls are wandering around the twisting tunnels trying to make it from the underground CTA stations to the AON Center with no avail. This urban purgatory is a perfect place for the princess to keep her location under wraps.
3. Disguised as Benny the Bull
One of the most strategic ways to stay covert is sometimes to hide in plain sight. Amidst the pandemonium of a Chicago Bulls game, fans would never assume that their beloved and bubbly Bulls mascot is the Princess of Wales. At the next game, keep an eye out for Benny’s posh two-step routine as a potential dead giveaway.
4. The Wiener's Circle
Where’s the last place you’d expect royalty? The Wiener's Circle! Don’t be surprised if she’s picked up a shift behind the counter and is the one hurling insults at you as you pick up your late-night order.
5. Steelworker’s Park
Hiding within the colossal ore walls of Steelworker’s Park, Kate could get a completely fresh start from the pressures of the world. Plus, there’s a rock-climbing wall to keep her active!
6. Under the "Bean"
You might say, “But isn’t the 'Bean' under construction?” That’s exactly what she’d want you to think! The Chicago landmark’s dizzying reflective surface is enough to disorient anyone trying to expose Kate’s whereabouts.
7. The old Rainforest Cafe building
Another great option for the Princess of Wales. Fraternizing with the rusted animatronic jungle critters of the shuttered Rainforest Cafe in River North is probably the last thing the world would expect from a British royal and, therefore, a great way to hide out from the search.