Ask anyone without a 606 zip code what the slowest-moving creature in the world is, and they’ll pepper you with answers culled from every corner of the animal kingdom. Ask a Chicagoan, and they’ll tell you it’s an emotionally unhinged driver attempting to exit Soldier Field. Now, there’s a morsel of data to vindicate us traffic-weary Chicagoans.
According to a recent study conducted by sports predictions specialists at Pickswise, Soldier Field is officially host to the worst game day traffic in the NFL. Analyzing the congestion levels around NFL stadiums every Sunday at 4pm—along with rush hour travel time and pollution—the study assigned every venue’s traffic patterns a score between zero and 100. Soldier Field received an abysmal 20.3, with congestion around the stadium jumping up 42 percent on game day—nearly double the NFL average. According to Pickwise’s rankings, the second-worst NFL stadium to travel to this season is MetLife Stadium near New York City, followed by the Pittsburgh Steelers’ Acrisure Stadium, Seattle’s Lumen Field and Los Angeles’ SoFi Stadium.
Now, how much stock can we put in a study that scrutinized a mere snapshot of Chicago’s infamous traffic follies? As someone whose knowledge of football begins and ends with “Bill Swerski’s Superfans,” I am far from an authority on such matters. I will, however, say this much: Wading through the post-Oasis foot traffic pouring from Soldier Field a few weeks ago was its own special—and slothful—kind of torture. In the time it took to walk from the arena’s exit to the Museum Campus bus corral, I could have listened to Definitely Maybe front-to-back—and by then, the air was leaden with the sound of blaring car horns, the horizon littered with unmoving taillights.
As the Bears prepare to move into their new digs in Arlington Heights, one can’t help but wonder: Will the traffic improve in tandem with their record? Chicagoans can’t help but dare to dream.