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News / Sex & Dating

7 things not to say in your first online dating message

Don't send this.
Photograph: Courtesy of Don't send this.

Sending the first message is intimidating. It’s your first chance to make an impression on a potential date and you really only have one shot. Plus, everything sounds much worse because it’s an online dating message. On the bright side, if you put some thought into it and avoid just a few blunders, you could get a reply from a mega babe!

To help increase your odds, I went through my inbox to find some of the most common messages that I don’t respond to.

1. "Hi." You can say “Hi,” but say more than that, too. Sending only “hi” or “hey” or “sup” is boring and implies that you’re messaging this tiny greeting to countless girls, and let’s face it, girls like to feel special.

2. [Emoji]. While I can have an entire conversation in only emojis, an emoji-only message is not impressive—especially if it’s just a smiley face or rose. Newsflash: sending 12 emoji roses is not the same as sending an actual bouquet of roses.

3. “You seem interesting, wanna chat?” While this seems like a compliment, it’s also vague and implies that you didn’t actually read her profile. No, she doesn’t want to chat.

4. “You probably get this all the time,” followed by a compliment. What if she doesn’t? This just got awkward. Although it’s intended as a compliment, it sounds really cliche.

5. “My mom thinks I’m funny.” If the first thing you say to me is about your mom, we have a problem. It’s not endearing. It’s creepy.

6. “How’s [this dating site] working out for you?” This is a really great way to remind the recipient that she is still online dating and not in a fulfilling relationship. It’s also a great way to remind the recipient that you have nothing else in common to talk about besides online dating.

7. Anything gross. Just don’t.


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