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Photograph: Lauren Spinelli

13 things that will happen to you in New York during Mercury Retrograde

By
Will Gleason
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By Time Out Contributors, edited by Will Pulos

If you've been wondering why your life seems a little wonkier than usual, then it's probably because everyone's favorite celestial event is now in effect: the planet Mercury is in Retrograde. In astrological terms, that means weird, unfortunate and unexpected things happen during this period a bit more than usual. If you're in in NYC, here are some things that you can expect to suffer through (most of which the Time Out New York staff has dealt with in the last 24 hours.)

1. For some unknown reason, your train takes 15 minutes longer to get to its destination than usual, but nothing seems to be going wrong. 

2. You find cockroaches in your apartment.  

3. You can’t decide whether or not you want hot or iced coffee and as you stand at the register the decision become increasingly more difficult until you just order a $9 smoothie. BUT WHY? 

4. You drop your earbuds on the subway car floor and can’t decide if it’s sanitary to put them back into your ears. (It obviously is…right?) 

5. You take five different trains to work and walk 13x farther than anticipated in the shoes you knew weren’t great for walking, because you can’t quite decide the best route. Time to buy blister band-aids.

6. You take the 7 train to the Hudson Yards stop, and someone starts screaming, "THIS ISN’T TIMES SQUARE!!"

7. The cheap furniture you bought at IKEA, and put together yourself, completely falls apart.  

8. Your air conditioner starts leaking water and you find a small, magical river running through the center of your apartment.

9. Your elevator breaks down. And you get trapped on it.

10. You lose your apartment keys and have to climb up your fire escape like Catwoman to break in to your bedroom.

11. Your dog kicks your laptop off the bed and the screen shatters, then two hours later a beer is spilled on your roommate's laptop you were using as a backup.

12. The air conditioning system in your office goes subzero and you get a cold. 

13. You have to wait for two sick passengers on your morning commute instead of the usual one.

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