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Made Event at Governors Beach Club
Photograph: Filip WolakMade Event at Governors Beach Club

17 things we won't miss about summer

By Tolly Wright

Everyone sings the praises of summer in the city (yes, including us), but let’s face a fact: It not all rooftop bars, outdoor movies, and perfect beach days. With rising temperatures comes an assault on the senses that can turn New York from a warm paradise into the fiery pits of hell. Here are some of the reasons we won't be crying when Autumn arrives. If you're one of those heat-loving summer people in denial about how soon it will be September, maybe this will cheer you up.

1. The odor of boiling rotten garbage and animal urine on your walk home.
The true smell of summer.

2. The block party Cockroaches like to throw in restaurants/public parks/inside your apartment.
Something about the heat really makes those little monsters bold

3. Sweating through even the thinnest of clothing on the walk from the subway to work.
Nobody is pulling off the most common trend of the season: Pit stains.

4. Then promptly shivering as that sweat turns to frost with the office’s air conditioning.
Sure, we're thankful for the technology, but does it have to be so cold?

5. The indignity humidity wages on our hair

6. The smugness of everyone who has Summer Fridays.
Who needs all that extra weekend time anyway? Really, we swear we’re not jealous.

7. Feet.
The faster those open-toed shoes get put in storage, the better. This goes double for mandals.

8. Wading through the rivers going down side streets from open fire hydrants
Another reason to leave those sandals for the beach, people.

9. Booty shorts that do not even begin to contain said booty.
Nobody needs your ass cheeks on their subway seat.

10. Ice cream trucks constantly tempting us
Diets go out the window when Van Leeuwen, Mister Softee or, really, just a dude with some frozen fruit pops goes by.

11. The suffocating, unbearable heat of subway platforms.
Without fail, It is always at its hottest when the trains happen to be running with delays.

12. The crowds at our favorite parks.
We had the idea of picnicking here first, thank you very much.

13. The constant street festivals
Yes, a lot of them are super great and brings a rich blend of cultures to the city, but sometimes you just want to walk to your destination without being bombarded with jewelry, t-shirts and grilled meats. 

14. Dull blockbusters
We're ready for movies with a little more substance than muscly heroes beating on other muscly villains. 

15. Bug bites
It doesn't matter that it's mosquito season—you're still going to obsessively research bed bugs. 

16. Electricity Bills 
Not only are you hurting the environment with your room's air conditioner, but you're destroying your wallet as well. 

17. The crippling FOMO-related panic attacks
Ah, that warm-weather guilt about wanting to stay in and watch tv...And when you do go out, how do you know if you’re choosing the right amazing, fun thing to do?


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