Get us in your inbox

Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Josh Kesner

23 types of bullshit that only New Yorkers can deal with

Written by
Cleo Bergman

Bullshit comes in many forms, and New Yorkers are familiar with most, if not all of them. From impossibly long lines at Shake Shack, to subway delays caused by an onslaught of crickets, New York simply isn’t built for the average human being. While outsiders may look on in horror, New Yorkers are resigned to (and sometimes comforted by) the chaos that can only be found in the city.

1. Having rats be part of your daily commute.

2. Tourist groups who think they can get in formation in the middle of the sidewalk.

3. “It’s Show Time!” guys whose swinging legs may be the last thing you see alive.

4. Car alarms, sirens and dump trucks singing the songs of their people in the middle of the night.

5. Squirrels invading your personal space.

6. One of the only public bathroom options being the inevitably long line of a Starbucks.

7. New Jersey people claiming they’re from New York.

8. Almost getting hit by a car and a bicycle at least once a day.

9. Construction everywhere. Everywhere.

10. Those damn fare hikes.

11. Neighborhoods changing faster than you can say “gentrification.”

12. The likelihood of never getting a chance to see Hamilton in your lifetime despite living in New York.

13. 8.4 million people live in New York City, yet somehow you always manage to run into someone you vaguely know and desperately don’t want to engage with.

14. Out of that same population, you’ve never run into your favorite celebrity.

15. The only uncrowded place in New York City are the subway cars with the mysteriously rank odor.

16. Weekend commutes: when nothing works and the universe hates you.

17. Being forced to walk around sets of movies or TV shows being filmed in public.

18. Watching people snag ubers and taxis while you’re straining to remember if you have enough on your Metrocard to get home.

19. Feeling a part of your soul die every time the rent goes up.

20. Never running into HONY when you’re dressed to kill.

21. Babies dressed better than you.

22. Dogs dressed better than you.

23. Pigeons.

Popular on Time Out

    Latest news