Are you ready for an NYC New Year’s Eve? Of course you are: Your New Year’s Eve dresses are bought, your parties are planned and you’re ready to spend New Year’s Day hiding under the couch, moaning. But just in case you’re still a little unprepared, here’s what you’ll see in the city besides fireworks.
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1. Five minutes before midnight, people weighing up their New Year make-out options.
2. The Bridge & Tunnel girl whose SONG JUST CAME ON YOU GUYS OH MY GODDDDD
3. Drunk people misguidedly deciding it’s their job to “cheer up” MTA workers, cab drivers and anyone else who’s having to work on New Year’s Eve.
4. New parents having their first night out since the birth, getting guilt pangs after three drinks.
5. People being charged absolutely ludicrous prices for drinks (and not giving a shit).
6. Locals getting pissed about the number of tourists filling up their bars.
7. People getting the hell out of Manhattan after midnight any way they can.
8. Someone in Times Square throwing up right in the middle of making out.
9. The person who passed out on the subway and woke up in the wrong borough.
10. The person who thought they hadn’t been invited to a party getting a text at the last minute.
11. That guy who took all the drugs.
12. The person who got stuck talking to the most boring man at the party.
13. People taking a shortcut through the park, mistakenly believing that surely even the most hardcore cyclists take New Year’s Eve off from terrorizing pedestrians, right?
14. The person who needs to be picked up off the floor when it’s time to go home.
15. That guy in the club who’s so ready for the beat to drop it’s almost painful.
16. The person who walked into the wrong bathroom during the party.
17. That gross dude who’s convinced he’s the sexiest man on Earth and ladies, New Year’s Eve is your lucky night.
18. People realizing that the dumb thing they just did is going to be all over their Facebook feed the next morning.
19. The cute single person who brought their super awkward friend to the party.
20. The girl who’s just completely failed to kiss her crush at midnight.
21. Inevitable regret. So much inevitable regret.
22. Two hammered friends about to get in a fight, then changing their minds, because hey, it’s New Year’s Eeeeve! (Also, alcohol.)
23. The dude who’s taken Molly for the first time.
24. The person who’s having a real shitty night, but is determined to see it through for the long haul.
25. The two wasted guys that partied right through till sunrise and are currently finding everything hilarious.