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25 things your parents will say when they visit you in NYC

Written by
Rebecca Fontana

Whether they’re visiting from across the country or from just a state away, this city can seem like a foreign land to them. Start mentally preparing yourself now to hear these critiques and comments—and make sure to be nice to your poor mom. 

“Ten blocks away?!?” 

“Look at all this garbage! Everyone should pick up the trash in front of their houses.”

“You should move to a building where the hallways don’t smell like smoke.”  

"It’s not as scary as I thought it would be.”

“What neighborhood do you live in again?”

“Why are there so many ambulances driving by your building all the time?”

“You never take the subway alone at night, do you?”

“The West Village is nice—why don’t you just live there?”

“What time do the subways stop running?”

“Oh look, an Elmo! Want your picture with it?”

“You have to try this bakery my friend told me about. I think it’s close to you—in Coney Island.”

“Where is the mall here?” 

“You have to see Blue Man Group.” 

“Why do you put up with all of these crowds?” 

“I could never live here.” 

“Don’t take out your phone when you’re walking! Someone might steal it!” 

"I'm not going to the Lower East Side, that's where all those SVUs take place."

"Look—there are cute men around here. Does this mean you just don't want a boyfriend?"

“Let's get tickets to Saturday Night Live!” 

“You carry pepper spray with you, right?”

“Let’s find a restaurant without a wait.”

“It’s so noisy here. How do you sleep? Do you have ear plugs?”

“Do you know your neighbors? Are they nice? You should have them over!”

“Is that the Empire State Building?”

“Does it always smell like this?”

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