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40 things you’ll never hear a New Yorker say in the summer

By
Nick Leftley
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Ah, summer in NYC. While we do love the chance to watch movies in the park or drink in rooftop bars, we’re also very aware that our clothes are sticking to us, our hair is demented and for the love of God, what is that smell?! Here are the things you will never, ever hear a New Yorker say in the summertime. 

Written by Time Out New York contributors, edited by Nick Leftley

1. “Not investing in an A/C unit was a great decision—this rickety fan from the bodega is totally doing the trick!”

2. “I love when sweaty strangers press up against on the subway—it makes me feel part of a community.”

3. “It’s only 30 blocks, let’s just walk, we’ll still look this good when we arrive.”

4. “I really miss all those rich assholes who leave the city for their summer homes every weekend.”

5. “I’m just not a big iced coffee person.”

6. “I don't really feel like day-drinking.”

7. “You know what? I’m not even going to take a vacation this year, I can’t imagine anywhere being more relaxing than this.”

8. “Surprise thunderstorms are so much fun!!”

9. “Mmm, that mountain of exposed leg flab spilling out of that dude’s tiny shorts onto my subway seat is really making me feel good about stuff.”

10. “The garbage piling up on the street outside my window smells so freaking good!”

11. “I’m so sick of all these free festivals.”

12. “Where’s the best place to grab a nice, warm bowl of ramen?”

13. “Let's snuggle!”

14. “Oh my God! I can’t believe how great my hair looks in this weather!”

15. “Rooftop bars are so overrated.”

16. “My body is totally ready for the beach.”

17. “Turning down the apartment with central air for one two blocks closer to the subway was the smartest decision I’ve ever made.”

18. “My electricity bills are so reasonable right now!”

19. “I just love the way summer brings out that hot piss smell on the sidewalk.”

20. “100% humidity? YES! I am totally wearing jeans today.”

Photograph: Courtesy Creative Commons/Flickr/Phillipp Meier

21. “Drinking in the park is illegal…we probably shouldn't risk it.”

22. “This is the perfect time to bake cookies.”

23. “I look amazing when I go on dates in the summer. The frizzy hair, the dewy face—it is sexiness incarnate.”

24. "Rats, what rats?”

25. “I really appreciate it when tourists walk in front of me, it really makes me slow down and smell the roses, you know?”

26. “This humidity is awesome, it's like getting a free sauna 24/7!”

27. “Smorgasburg again? Let's go somewhere else, we were just there last weekend.”

28. “This sweat-induced acne makes me feel so young!”

29. “You know what, I think I’ve had enough ice cream.”

30. “The mystery drips from A/Cs sure do provide a refreshing mist.”

31. “I just love the smell of stale air and BO on a packed train in the mornings.”

32. “Beach? No thanks.”

33. “This single coat of SPF 15 will last me all day long.”

34. “Why is it always 20 degrees cooler on the subway platform than it is outside?!”

35. "Everyone here seems so much less stressed this time of year."

36. "I'm so glad I chose to live somewhere where I can't have a yard."

37. "Let's go jogging!"

38. "This 15-block walk back to my apartment feels like a refreshing stroll in the park."

39. "Even the cabs smell good this time of year!"

40. “I am definitely not losing my mind."

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