Despite its romanticization in film and on TV, fall in the Big Apple can be one of the most trying times of the year. Largely, that’s thanks to one thing: the insane weather.
RECOMMENDED: See more New York rants
The ordeal begins when you wake up to find temperatures have dropped overnight faster than a lightweight after a Lower East Side bar crawl. Bundled in flannels and a coat, you leave your cozy apartment and head to the subway only to find that the packed platform didn’t get the chilly-weather memo. (Looking at you, Eighth Avenue L station.) Drenched in more sweat than if you had just completed back-to-back SoulCycle classes, you frantically shed your clothes—only to have to pile ’em back on once you emerge from underground.
Once you finally arrive at the office, you discover that some parts of the building are still in summer mode, with air conditioners cranked to the Arctic tundra setting, while others are akin to walking into a blazing toaster oven. Fed up, you flee to the street while still sporting multiple layers, only to realize that as the day has progressed, the morning’s shiver-inducing temperatures have somehow risen to mid-July heatstroke levels.
The most evil aspect of the entire experience unfolds the next day, when you assume you’ve finally outsmarted the season by wearing summer attire but get caught in the opposite weather pattern, with temperatures warm in the morning and then plummeting, causing you to sprint home, underdressed and freezing, while cursing meteorologists Janice Huff and Lee Goldberg and the very idea of seasons in general.
No matter what you do, preparing for fall in New York is a guaranteed lose-lose situation. But hey, at least the leaves are pretty?