Storm Juno is here, and she is about to ruin your good time like that ex that showed up uninvited to your birthday party. On Sunday afternoon Mayor de Blasio said the blizzard could be "one of the largest snowstorms in the history of this city" and urged people to prepare for the worst. The National Weather Service issued a forecast predicting 65 mph winds and a "CRIPPLING AND POTENTIALLY HISTORIC BLIZZARD" (all-caps their emphasis) with a blizzard warning in effect from 1pm today to midnight Tuesday. Here's what you need to know:
When will the blizzard start?
Break out those furry boots, because there's two feet of snow on the way. A quick look out the window should tell you it's already here, but it's about to get much worse. Expect 1-4 inches by 7pm and a dump of 8 more inches by midnight. You could wake up to 16 inches of snow tomorrow morning, with another 7-9 inches coming down throughout Tuesday.
What's going on with public transportation?
There should be normal bus and subway service throughout the day, with service changes and delays expected as the storm worsens. "Bus, commuter-rail, and subway service could be curtailed on a route-by-route basis, depending on conditions and snow-removal operations," the MTA says. Express train service is likely to be limited overnight as trains will be stored underground to protect them from "the elements." Governor Andrew Cuomo issued a state of emergency for New York City and announced that the Metro North and LIRR are closing at 11pm, the PATH will be operating on a weekend schedule starting at 9pm, and a decision on closing major roads will come at 4pm. Read: get out while you can.
UPDATE: ALL subways, buses and roads will be closed to non-emergency vehicles beginning at 11pm.
Where can I get up-to-the-minute updates so I know whether I should head into work?
Sign up for email and text message alerts from the MTA, follow their Twitter and check out NYC.gov's severe weather page. You can also sign up for emergency alerts from NotifyNYC. Good 'ol de Blasio's Twitter account, as well as Governor Cuomo's, should keep you in the loop as well, or browse the New York Times' handy-dandy guide to the status of transportation and institution closures in NYC.
Will any major bridges be closed?
So far, the lower level of the Manhattan bridge is closed for traffic headed to Manhattan until Wednesday morning, though the upper level is still open. Brooklyn-bound traffic isn't yet affected, but keep an eye on updates from the MTA.
Are the schools closed?
Schools are closed on Tuesday, de Blasio announced.
When will my streets be plowed?
Track plowing progress online, and when your block was last cleared out, with PlowNYC. The Sanitation Department will be rolling out 2,100 of its own plows plus about 240 more from other agencies to help keep the city on its feet.
Exactly how high will Uber price surges go?
Uber announced surge prices won't exceed 2.8x the normal rate, but expect longer wait times for your ride.
I'm insane and I still want to use CitiBike. Can I?
You can until 7pm when the system shuts down until further notice.
I have tickets for a thing tomorrow night I really want to go to. Will they cancel the event? Will they honor my ticket for another night? WHAT SHOULD I DO?
We're sorry this is happening to you, people with tickets to the Nets game or the Savages show. The best advice we have is to call the venue ahead of time and ask what the deal is. We will update with major cancellations as the storm rages on.
UPDATE: Louis C.K. has canceled his Tuesday night Madison Square Garden show. Tonight's Nets game against the Portland Trail Blazers has been rescheduled for April 6.
But I have a flight to catch!
You probably don't. So far, 78% of flights have been canceled at LaGuardia, and 50% have been canceled at JFK. Expect those numbers to grow higher as the snow piles.
And now that you know the answers to your serious questions, here's some advice for your more questionable queries:
Oh my god I'm so bored what should I watch while I'm trapped in my house?
Fire up that queue with our list of the best new movies on Netflix in January.
Should I invite my winter cuff buddy over to my house to ride out the storm with me?
You'd be a fool if you didn't, but keep in mind there are often surges in births exactly nine months after major storms.
Stay warm, New York.