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Each week, we take two New Yorkers who swear they're totally undateable, and put our matchmaking skills to the test. Afterward, we find out what went well on their date, and what went horribly, horribly wrong.
Why they're single:
Sarah: Doesn’t know how to date in New York
Cory: Probably because he’s weird and quirky
Ideal date:
Sarah: Sitting on a park bench, eating pizza
Cory: Hanging out and drinking while watching a stupid sci-fi movie
THE DATE
First impression
Sarah: “He was already sitting at a table in the back, and he said he was three drinks deep by the time he arrived. He had a really huge smile and seemed like a very positive person.”
Cory: “I arrived a bit early, so I was sitting there, nervously waiting, but she was nice and approachable. I wasn’t intimidated right off the bat. She was normal.”
Chemistry
Sarah: “He made a lot of upsetting jokes. He talked about going to camp and how they used to throw semen at each other. I kind of just smiled and nodded through the whole thing.”
Cory: “We talked, and there were no pauses. We told some jokes, but I don’t think my jokes hit well. She seems like she’s into camping, and I’m more of an indoorsy person.”
Awkward Moment
Sarah: “He did a Gollum impression, which was strange. He said a really sexist joke, and I politely laughed. Then I tried to tell him a joke and he just said, ‘I don’t get it.’”
Cory: “She had to explain one of her jokes to me. When someone tells a supposedly funny joke and the other person is like, ‘Can you please explain?’ it’s awkward.”
Afterward
Sarah: “He asked me to get another drink, and I said no. He walked me to the train and kissed me, which made me think he thought the date went a lot better than I did.”
Cory: “The waiter had a strong Bulgarian accent, so we were joking about that, and I think he overheard us as we were leaving. I asked for her number on the way to the train.”
Verdict
Sarah: ♥♥ “I didn’t think there was any chemistry or compatibility. This was an especially weird situation because I was offended by so many things he said.”
Cory: ♥♥♥♥♥ “I think we would be considered friends. I had a very nice time, and she’s very attractive. But we were like two ships passing in the night.”
Our daters went to Paulaner (265 Bowery, 212-780-0300)
RECOMMENDED: See more Undateables
Want to be set up on a free blind date? Email undateable@timeout.com.