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In medieval times, it was a sign of social progress when etiquette rules expressly forbade the stroking of dogs and cats while eating, or throwing pets scraps from the table. Guess what? New York is about get pre-medieval on everyone’s ass.
Last year, Governor Cuomo signed into law the "Dining with Dogs" bill, which lets restaurants allow pets to dine with their owners at outdoor patios or their backyard and sidewalk areas. That law has been finalized with the latest regulations by the city’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. The department had opposed the legislation—as would anyone who wants to enjoy their SuperNachos without huge, forlorn puppy eyes staring at you three feet away. What about when an especially ill-trained mutt jumps up on your table and hoovers up your cheeseburger? And I won’t put you off your meal by asking about flatulence and incontinence midway through appetizers.
Don’t get me wrong: I love dogs (and cats, which I admire allergically from afar), but the potential for pet-owning jerks to ruin brunch and dinner just got a whole lot greater. Don’t be surprised when your four-legged friends start getting fatter and harder to control. Where will this end? Dogs at hipster cinemas? Cats attending Cats? Goldfish scoring free tickets to Shakespeare in the Park, for pity’s sake?!?