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Prayers we'd like Pope Francis to say for New York City

Written by
Tolly Wright

This evening nearly 20,000 of the city’s practicing Catholics attended Pope Francis’s mass at Madison Square Garden and thousands of others lined the streets yesterday and today for a chance to see him. During his two-day whirlwind visit to New York the holy leader offered blessings and heard the people’s prayers. Since it may be a while before the pope returns, we thought we’d add some prayers to his (admittedly extremely long) list. You know, if he has any extra space. 

-May the L train never need weekend construction again

-Bequeath unto each of us a partner with a dog/car/HBOGo subscription 

-May the 2nd Ave subway line actually open

-Grant the Yankees and/or the Mets the strength to make it to the world series (we're not picky)

-Bestow blessings onto the heroes who sell dollar slices

-Bring tidings of a mild winter, unlike the frozen hell of 2014/2015

-Bless Taylor Swift's cat.

-Give landlords the will to NOT increase our rents

-Smite the handsy costumed characters in Times Square (we know Pope Francis isn't the smiting type, but maybe he'll make an exception)

-Bring health to sick passengers and make them well before an MTA official needs to get involved

-Please, bring a stop to MetroCard fare hikes (or will that the MTA come into a pile of money)

-May the LaGuardia renovation be swift and yield a beautiful new airport with no delays

-Grant us a new Penn Station

-Bring PizzaRat and Milkshake Squirrel together in friendship 

-Let Jay Z contribute to the Pope’s new rock/pop album

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