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We've all been there: That time of year when you're forced to endure a night of awkward small talk, soggy apps and some pretty questionable dance moves. You promise yourself that you'll have two drinks, then call it a night, but two somehow turns into eight and suddenly you're at the after-after-party with people you're not even sure you work with. If you can piece together your hazy memories well enough to take our quiz, tally your points and we'll be able to tell you whether your stellar reputation is beyond repair or you can show up to work and pretend like ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENED.
You asked your boss for a raise while she was doing the Electric Slide. 1 point
You vaguely remember photocopying various parts of your body. 3 points
You spilled wine on yourself. 1 point
You spilled red wine on yourself. 2 points
You spitefully rearranged a co-worker's meticulous desktop display of Beanie Babies. 3 points
You put your arm around your married boss and said, "Let's stop playing games: Meet me in the supply closet?" 7 points
You actually met your married boss in the supply closet. 10 points
You did anything resembling break dancing. 1 point
You cried. 3 points
In a small group of people outside having a smoke, you said, "You guys, is it me or is Beth totally annoying?" Then you realized Beth was standing to your left. 4 points
At late-night karaoke, you mounted your HR rep and serenaded her with Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know." 15 points
You broke a heel, busted a zipper or popped a button during House of Pain's "Jump." 1 point
You, at any point, for any reason, took off your top. 6 points
Or your pants. 7 points
You told a co-worker, "I always thought you probably weren't as boring as you seemed." 2 points
You demonstrated your ability to tie a cherry stem with your tongue/fit your fist in your mouth/put your legs behind your head. 4 points
You threw up. 3 points
You returned from the bathroom and told people that you threw up. 4 points
You spent at least half your night trying to avoid the person you made out with at last year's party. 3 points
Then you made out with them again. 5 points
1-3 points
You are one class act! You sipped a reasonable glass of Chardonnay, spent a solid ten minutes talking to all the important supervisors you wanted to impress, then made it home in time to order Chinese and watch Real Housewives. The next morning, you sauntered into work practically aglow while the poor unfortunate soul you share a cubicle with nursed his Gatorade and tried not to make eye contact with the mail room guy, whom he may or may not have slept with.
4-7 points
Okay, so you've had finer moments. Perhaps you shouldn't have challenged your direct supervisor to a shots competition (you won, by the way, and by "won" we mean lost), and the office could have probably lived without seeing your rendition of the "Evolution of Dance" (and yes, you did the entire thing). But you didn't do irreparable harm. Head into work, keep your head down and for the love of god, do not tell Jan the receptionist how great her boobs looked in her party dress. (You told her last night. She didn't appreciate it.)
8 or more points
Welp, you certainly know how to make an impression, we'll give you that. Our advice is to call in sick and spend the day updating your LinkedIn, because you, my friend, are like an HR training video come to life. It's possible (nay, probable) you even grabbed your CEO's butt. But hey, at least you went out in a blaze of glory, right? Right???