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The 16 types of New Year's kisses you'll have at midnight

By Carla Sosenko
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Picture it, you guys: 11:52 p.m. You're drunk. Someone clicks on a TV to watch the ball drop, all your besties are coupled up. (Gross.) There's only one thing to do: Find someone to kiss and find them fast. Here are all the kinds of New Year's Eve smooches you could might yourself a part of this year. (We say don't be stingy and try for all of them.)

1.The "Hey, you look cute and happen to be standing right next to me and I have no idea who you are, but I'm going to kiss you, k?" kiss.

2. The super sloppy, handsy kiss that sort of grosses everyone else out. (But also? Good for you! Get it.)

3. The "Wanna wreck our friendship" kiss? This is typically with a close pal you have never even flirted with before. Makes for an excessively awkward morning after. 

4. The kiss where you realize you actually don't enjoy making out with the person your mouth is currently attached to but hey, at least it's something?

5. The "I think I just found my soul mate kiss. Or wait, is that just the bourbon talking? Oh god, I'm going to throw up" kiss.

6. The group kiss. Not in a sexy way, it's just that you have so many friends and have to kiss all of them and yaaaaaaay, I love you guys. 

7. The wireless kiss. (Involves finding someone to text as the ball drops and commencing sexting immediately.)

8. The dry, unsatisfying kiss. Nothing but cheeks. (Ugh.) Done just so you can say you kissed someone

9. The "Ooh, the bartender is cute, I wonder if she wants to make out with me" kiss. (She doesn't.) More often than not not seen to fruition, as everybody thinks the bartender is cute. 

10. The vicarious kiss, wherein you keep your eyes open to watch the person you'd rather be kissing while you're kissing someone else. (This one is sort of creepy. And sad.)

11. The "uh-oh, I just realized the person I'm dating is a terrible kisser" kiss.

12. The dream kiss, wherein you retire to your apartment at 11:45, start crying (poor thing) and fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. (Upside is that maybe you dream about frenching Leonardo DiCaprio or Saint Vincent.)

13. The distractor kiss. You take a drink while everyone else gets it on in the hopes that no one will notice you have no one to kiss.  

14. The kind of kiss that was just a kiss except oops now you're waking up in a stranger's apartment. Hello, 2016!

15. The kiss from your mom because you hate New Year's and decided to spend it on the couch in the house you grew up in watching Ryan Seacrest with the fam. 

16. The actually-not-a-let-down kiss. New Year's Eve is all right! Fuck yeah! You're king (or queen) of the wooooooooorld! 

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