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The five traps that can ruin any NYC relationship

Written by
Ben Lerman

You’re finally happy dating someone, and the feeling is mutual. It’s the two of you against the world! But love is a dangerous game anywhere you play it, and New York City can be a particularly treacherous landscape for new lovers. Don't get us wrong. We believe in you. You guys can make it! Just keep your eyes open and watch out for these all-too-common NYC relationship hazards. 

The NYC long-distance trap
You love living in Sunnyside, and she would be a fool to leave her huge, cheap Ditmas Park one-bedroom. When you’re lucky, the train gets you there in an hour. But after you roll into work late three times in a week, you decide love shouldn’t have to have this many transfers. You let her down easy. You’re a better communicator than commuter. Then, the one who got away calls you. She’s moved back to NYC and wants to give things a second shot. Well, not exactly NYC. Jersey City. But it’s so close on the PATH! You've heard that one before.

The NYC real estate trap
You've spent almost every night together for the last month. Sometimes you’re at his place, sometimes he’s at yours. And it’s perfect, aside from the commute and his annoying roommates. His lease is up, and even though you've never talked about that permanent stack of dishes in his sink, you’ve asked him to move in. You've got plenty of room for him in your apartment if he puts a couple shelves up. Domestic bliss is just one Ikea trip away. You’re going to save so much money, and now you can be together every night. Real estate relationship trap? Not you guys. You love and respect one another. What could possibly go wrong?

The NYC budget trap
It doesn’t matter what you do together, you always have fun. You can just hang out at home and make pasta. Unfortunately for your credit score, you don’t. You go to neon-lit bowling alleys, live music shows and exciting new restaurants. How can you look into his sparkly eyes and tell him that neither of you can afford the artisanal sausages paired with organic herb-infused lager? You can almost hear your mother saying that there’s no way she’s paying “twenty bucks? For a hot dog and a beer?” New York City is full of budget pitfalls, especially when you’re young and in love.

The NYC options trap
You have trouble picking a restaurant, and that’s only a commitment of a few hours. With a relationship, you’re deciding on a lifelong commitment. How can you be sure that there isn’t a better option out there? This is New York City, not Cincinnati. Of course, there’s a better option out there! Even if she looks like Jennifer Aniston, and she’s as funny as Amy Schumer, there’s a girl with Angelina Jolie’s looks and Tina Fey’s sense of humor just one right-swipe away. The number of super hot potential paramours in NYC has you caught in the trap of always chasing better.

The NYC scheduling trap
You’re so in tune with each other, you might as well start a band. That is, if the two of you ever had any overlapping free time. That bartender charm is why you fell for him, but, unfortunately, you have obligations that require you to get up before noon. If you want to see him during the week, you have to stop by the bar. He can never go to your friends’ parties, and there's definitely no chance you'll ever be going on a weekend getaway. In fact, you can only plan activities on Monday nights, his one night off. (And it's not like he's going to want to go out then.) You can’t make it through a weekday without a mid-afternoon nap because you, my friend, have fallen into the schedule trap.

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