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Photograph: Courtesy Creative Commons/Flickr/David Ohmer

The top 10 worst things to do as a third wheel in New York

Will Gleason

Because New York is for lovers. And also sometimes for their single friends who’s Thursday night plans fell through. 

1. Take a rowboat ride in Central Park. Especially if you somehow end up sitting in the middle and the couple gets into an argument about paddling. Paddling arguments never end well.

2. Go to the IKEA in Red Hook. As much as your friend says she wants your opinion on that stool, you do NOT want to be there when they start fighting over the ideal shade of green on a seat cushion.

3. See a movie a Nitehawk Cinema. They'll be sharing an intimate table for two and bonding over light bites and cocktails; you'll be drinking at a table alone, probably next to an empty seat. The sad single equivalent of a kid's table.

4. Walk through Brooklyn Bridge Park at night. Probably best to stay away from any nighttime waterfront views of bridges.

5. Picnic in Sheep Meadow. If you have no choice, at least bring an extra bottle of wine. 

6. Go ice skating. Whether it's at Bryant Park or Rockefeller Center, you'll be skating as fast as you can to catch your love bird acquaintances as they couple skate away. "... you guys? You guys, wait!"

7. Take a stroll through the High Line at dusk. You'll end up spending most of the time pointing out new art installations to no one in particular or playing with those white legos for 20 minutes.

8. Ride Jane's Carousel. "I REALLY think we can all fit on this chariot, just squeeze in!"

9. Go to the Museum of Sex. It's gonna get awkward.

10. Netflix and chill. You just wanted to watch Million Dollar Baby and have a relaxing night in. It's getting cold out!


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