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Top five funny New York tourist fails

By
Will Gleason
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Swiping a MetroCard incorrectly
You have to admit, it’s pretty funny to see someone swipe a MetroCard, wait 30 seconds and then walk into rigid subway turnstile with a confused look on their face. That's some A-plus physical comedy, right there. But coming in a close second has to be the out-of-towner who continuously swipes their card incorrectly for 15 minutes. If it hasn’t worked yet, you think you might have to turn it around? Just a suggestion. We're trying to help.

Getting bad pizza
New York has the best pizza in the world, but that doesn’t mean every slice served up in the city lives up to the hype. Just because a Sbarro or Famous Famiglia is located on Eighth Avenue doesn’t mean it’s going to be any better than what you could pick up in the terminal of a regional airport. Still, it seems like the chain pizza joints of midtown are constantly packed with out-of-towners scarfing down pepperoni slices with extra Parmesan.

Using selfie sticks inappropriately
There is a time and a place for everything, and the time to use a selfie stick is, um... never. Nevertheless, the use of Satan’s Little Accessory at inappropriate places definitely makes the practice even worse. The fact that some New York museums are banning the devices, should deliver a clear enough message: It’s probably not a good idea to whip out your giant pole and pose seductively in front of the 9/11 memorial, a traffic accident or an apartment fire. And don’t get us started on those ballsy tourists who walk down the street with sticks extended, recording their walks like they're trying to detect metal in the sky. Trust us, walking down 34th Street is not a memory you need to treasure forever.

Spending all their time in Times Square
Whether it’s because their hotel is located there or because they just really wanted that authentic “elbow-to-elbow” NYC experience, one of the most baffling New York tourist fails is the way some people visit the city and decide to never leave Times Square! Why is this? Are they worried about being too far from Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. at any moment of the day? Is there something secretly calming about those red lights on the TKTS booth? This one really escapes us.

Capturing that special Friends moment
There’s nothing wrong with coming to New York and wanting to see recognizable landmarks from television and film. An afternoon spent throwing back a box of Magnolia cupcakes and touring the city on a Sex and the City bus, sounds quite enjoyable indeed. But what about those poor souls who end up in the wrong place? For the the countless eager selfie-takers posing in front of the Bryant Park or Central Park fountain, thinking it's the one from the opening credits of Friends, that's a situation that's far too real. You know what? Better to just not tell them the truth.

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