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You may soon be able to drunkenly email trees in New York

You may soon be able to drunkenly email trees in New York
Photograph: Courtesy Creative Commons/Flickr/Young Sok Yun

We’ve all had those nights when we’ve had a little too much wine, listened to a little too much Adele and fired off a few emails to people that were a little too honest. Now, you might be able to do that to trees, too!

Upper West Side Councilmember Mark Levine has introduced a bill based on a surprisingly successful initiative in Melbourne that would assign email addresses to 200 trees across the city. The early-adopting saplings would be chosen based on criteria like age, size and historic importance, and signs would be posted next to the trunks with their contact info. The public would be able to send any kind of message they'd like.

Do you feel an inexplicable connection with the red maple on your corner? Are you harboring secret guilt over peeing on that London Planetree on Wythe Avenue? If Councilmember Levine gets his way, you’ll be able to let them know personally. (Well, them and some random Parks Department employee managing the account.)

Here are some examples of heartfelt emails sent to Melbourne trees if you're looking for a little late-night inspiration.

To: Golden Elm, Tree ID 1037148

21 May 2015

I'm so sorry you're going to die soon. It makes me sad when trucks damage your low hanging branches. Are you as tired of all this construction work as we are?

To: Algerian Oak, Tree ID 1032705

2 February 2015

Dear Algerian oak,

Thank you for giving us oxygen.

Thank you for being so pretty.

I don't know where I'd be without you to extract my carbon dioxide. (I would probably be in heaven) Stay strong, stand tall amongst the crowd.

You are the gift that keeps on giving.

We were going to speak about wildlife but don't have enough time and have other priorities unfortunately.

Hopefully one day our environment will be our priority.

To: Willow Leaf Peppermint, Tree ID 1357982

29 January 2015

Willow Leaf Peppermint, Tree ID 1357982

Hello Mr Willow Leaf Peppermint, or should I say Mrs Willow Leaf Peppermint?

Do trees have genders?

I hope you've had some nice sun today.

Regards

Western Red Cedar, Tree ID 1058295

1 July 2015

Hi Tree,

Are you worried about being affected by the Greek debt crisis? Should Greece be allowed to stay in the European Union?

Regards,

Troy

h/t Gothamist

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