The annual Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival has seen so many ridiculous concept events (An Evening of Comedy from 1986; Uh, Oh: Dangerous, Inappropriate Comedy for Teenagers), spectacles (petting zoos, awkward party buses) and packed shows, it’s easy for audiences to overlook little things like programs. They shouldn’t: Mirman writes all of the comics’ bios and recommendations of nearby Park Slope venues himself. Here are excerpts from five years of playbills and a preview of this year’s write-ups as you get ready for StarTalk Live and everything else that’s happening.
Jim Gaffigan is an amazing comedian who pretends a lady in the audience doesn’t get him.
Reggie Watts is a gifted musician, monologist, improviser and lover (probably). Here's what Brian Eno said about Reggie: "Blah blah blah blah unique blah blah blah insanely talented." I can't find the actual quote right now, but it's something like that.
Gorilla Coffee: A great way to run into people you can't completely remember. Did we go to college together? No? Well, good luck with your band, then. Plus free internet. That's right, neurotically check your e-mail to see if your friends want you to come to their show! They do. Super coffee, chai, white mocha lattes and a good place to meet sexy moms.
David Cross was one of the stars of Mr. Show so now lots of drunk people will come up to him and tell him a long story he didn’t need to hear.
Lowe’s: Hands down the area’s most convenient place to buy construction materials, a jigsaw, a fridge, or see Hasidic Jews shopping for home-improvement stuff.
Rick Canavan is a comedian from Boston who is a fixture at the Comedy Studio. I am very excited to have him here in New York for our comedy festival. If he had a website, this bio would be more informative.
Myq Kaplan is a vegan comedian who is a master of the “one-liner.” I bet he is sexually active, though when you talk to him, you don’t get that vibe.
Nana: Whenever I come in they say, "Hello, Eugene!" I think it's because they read about me in the New York Post once, but I'm not sure. They're a great Thai, Malaysian and Japanese restaurant. Don't worry, they're not fusion, they keep that shit separate. Try the taro duck roll, butter crispy ipoh squid, coconut fried rice and maybe even the Flirt martini. (Please don't tell anyone I recommended that. Thanks.)
Michael Che moved to New York City three weeks ago and is now one of everyone’s favorite new comics. I lied about how long ago he moved to New York.
Blue Ribbon Brasserie: A great French/seafood restaurant that stays open very late (till 65 in the morning on Saturdays!). They have awesome food like bone marrow, clam stew and other delicious things that will give you gout.
Arecibo: The premier (not really) car service in the area. Give them a call and they can take you home while you can still get hard. Ha ha. Sorry.
Monica Bill Barnes is a dancer and choreographer who has traveled the world dancing (with the world’s permission).
Dan St. Germain hosted several shows I did at Comix with Andy Kindler. He was very funny, so I booked him at this festival. This bio is more accurate and detailed than silly. Sorry.
The Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival happens Thu 26–Sun 29.