Size matters in a new experience at The Metropolitan Museum of Art by the same group behind the "Nasty Women" tour.
The "Unhung Heroes of the Metropolitan" tour, led by Professor Andrew Lear, kicks off on Saturday, March 14, and explores the, um, male members depicted in the museum's paintings and sculptures.
For two hours, Lear will guide curious voyeurs to pieces like Rodin's "Age of Bronze," which features a rather small knob, a Golden Age Dutch painting, "Ter Borch, Woman Playing the Lute and A Cavalier," that may contain a dick joke, and the marble bust of Antinous that was possibly de-nosed by an angry Christian because he was the boy-lover of an Emperor.
Lear will attempt to answer questions about why the schlongs depicted are often smaller-than-life and why some artworks are just straight up missing them.
The professor is an expert in the saucy stories behind Green and Roman artworks and promises a naughty but educational experience for those who want a sexier tour.
Tickets are $69 for adults, $59 for seniors, $49 for Metropolitan Museum of Art members, and $39 for students, and are available at shadyladiestours.com.