Last year, at a party on Fire Island, I kissed a nice Eastern European boy. Or so I thought by his thick accent. "So when did you move here from Transylvania?" I asked. "I'm from Long Island," he replied. He wasn't a good kisser.
I'm not sure what this story is supposed to illustrate beyond New York's vast array of accents. There's really something for everybody here. If, like me, you find the molasses-thick tongues of East Islip to be your cup of tea, you're not alone: According to a poll by market research firm YouGov, New York accents are the third-sexiest in the nation.
CBS News collected some of the data, which puts the Southeastern accent in first place with 18 percent of votes, Texas at number with 12 percent and NYC in a deadlock with Boston, each at 7 percent of the vote. Chicago was found to be the least sexiest, at 2 percent. I assume we're going to hear about that for the rest of our lives.
I totally get the Southeastern accent—I once tried and failed to seduce a completely straight evangelical missionary from Alabama who looked like Captain America, but I digress—and Texas makes sense. Though, having grown up in Houston, I must say that there are just as many whacko dialects there as there are in New York, so maybe try them all before you vote.
But Boston? Seriously? I'd argue that NYC's de-facto accent, though portrayed often as cheesy, represents a humble mix of ethnic collisions in a small space. I don't know that I can say that for Boston. Would that really...turn you on?
In terms of international accents, it's pretty much what you'd expect: English accents took the crown with 20 percent, followed by Australian at 12 percent and Irish at 10 percent. So, yeah, Americans still like to romanticize countries that also heavily feature white people. Not great. But hey, at least we get Henry Cavill saying "Cat's Pajamas" once in a while.
You can find more facts from the exhaustive survey here.