Heads up! We’re working hard to be accurate – but these are unusual times, so please always check before heading out.
Start: 107--109 Ave C at 7th St
End: 15 E 7th St between Second and Third Aves
Time: 3 hours (or all night!)
Distance: 0.7 miles
1 Get things rolling at Zum Schneider (107--109 Ave C at 7th St; 212-598-1098, zumschneider.com) with a liter of Traunsteiner 1612er Zwickel ($14), a crisp, unfiltered draft exclusive to the Alphabet City biergarten. You'll want to hold the massive stein with both hands.
2 Walk one avenue over to the divey 7B Horseshoe Bar (108 Ave B at 7th St, 212-677-6742) for one of its 31 domestic and imported taps, such as the German Hefeweizen Franziskaner Weissbier ($6). Take a tipsy turn in the photo booth before stumbling out the back door.
3 Pop into Porchetta (110 E 7th St between First Ave and Ave A; 212-777-2151, porchettanyc.com) for a delectable bite to help you sober up. Order the Porchetta sandwich ($10), Sara Jenkins's savory trifecta of salty pork, cracklings and crusty bread.
4 Ukrainian joint Blue & Gold Tavern (79 E 7th St between First and Second Aves, 212-777-1006) is outfitted with beat-up leather booths and checkered tile floors; it's ideal for downing a cheap drink (or several). A mug of Blue & Gold ($3), a light house lager brewed by Magic Hat, is a solid call.
5 Your next stop on beer drinkers' row should be intimate ale alcove Jimmy's No. 43 (43 E 7th St between Second and Third Aves; 212-982-3006, jimmysno43.com). Enjoy a Belgian-style farmhouse ale, like the Goose Island Sofie ($8), under the antler-adorned walls and wooden casks.
6 Head upstairs to find more beer, sports and plenty of TVs to watch them on at Standings (43 E 7th St at Second Ave; 212-420-0671, standingsbar.com). You'll never miss that night's big game, regardless of the sport—eight flat-screens wrapping around this sports bar broadcast different matches simultaneously. A dozen taps rotate weekly, serving mostly 16-ounce pints of craft-brewed American ales, such as Wolaver's Wildflower Wheat, made with organic Vermont honey ($6).
7 Attempt to keep your drunken debates to a whisper at the monastic Burp Castle (41 E 7th St between Second and Third Aves; 212-982-4576, burpcastlenyc.wordpress.com). Sip quietly on strong, Belgian browns like the Maredsous Dubbel ($9) or prepare to be genially shushed by the barkeep.
8 Assuming you're still standing, end the night at a New York institution, McSorley's Old Ale House (15 E 7th St between Second and Third Aves; 212-473-9148, mcsorleysnewyork.com). The petite glasses at this 19th-century watering hole are filled with only two possible options: light or dark ale. And that's a good thing: At this point in your stumblings, you probably can't handle much decision making.
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