1. The only drugstores in town close at 6 p.m. What is this, Europe?
2. The only pizza places in town cut their pies into squares. What is this, Chicago?
3. In New York, walking for 10-minutes and being in reach of the greatest landmarks, restaurants and attractions in the world. Now, walking for 10 minutes and still being in the middle of nowhere.
4. Hearing crickets at night and realizing they are more than just a TV comedy gag.
5. Wondering why this cold, white substance has been covering the sidewalks for more than three hours now, and whether you should be worried.
6. Walking into your local convenience store and being surprised by the absence of Utz potato chips, loosie cigarettes, a deli counter, black plastic bags, and a tabby cat slinking down the aisle.
7. Your mail carrier leaving a package on your front stoop, actually expecting it to be there when you get home--and it is!
8. Missing the way that creeper outside the subway stop used to whistle and yell “hey, gorgeous” every morning, because at least then you had somebody to talk to on the way to work.
9. Being shocked when ice cream truck actually passes by your window instead of parking there for all day, playing its annoying tune on a continuous loop.
10. Assuming any cocktail on a menu for under $13 must be a typo.
11. Realizing that there are places where $11 an hour actually is a living wage.
12. Being able to walk down out of a bar with an open cup without getting chewed out by the bouncer--even if it’s just water.
13. Telling somebody at a party that you’re a writer/artist/poet/musician, and they actually treat you like you’re special.
14. Finally being able to travel because you don’t have to spend 95 percent of your paycheck just to afford to live in New York.