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Illustrations by Laurène Boglio

16 types of jerks every New Yorker encounters

Warning: What you are about to see will trigger all decent New Yorkers. Do you recognize these 16 kinds of people who have no decorum?


We've hidden 16 of the absolute worst types of New Yorkers in the terrifying image above. Can you spot them all? Use our handy guide below, and give it your best shot. After that, you can feed your rage by working your way through our Time Out rants or remind yourself that there—oh, right—some actually some pretty great things to do in NYC, too.

The not-so-sweet 16

Oversize-umbrella wielder

1. Oversize-umbrella wielder

Golf umbrellas are basically parachutes with dangerous tines. Really, is it even raining that hard?

Fashion offender

2. Fashion offender

Your accessories are an extension of your body, so please be mindful of your bags, scarves and capes hitting other people.

Stopper for no reason

3. Stopper for no reason

Since life moves pretty fast on the streets of New York, under no circumstances should you ever come to an abrupt halt.

Smoker or vaper leaning against the building

4. Smoker or vaper leaning against the building

If you must puff, stand on the curb and exhale into traffic.

The Jaywalker

5. The Jaywalker

We know you have important places to go, just like all of us driving cars, riding buses or biking down the street.

Gum spewer

6. Gum spewer

Admittedly, we’ve never actually witnessed someone spit their gum on the sidewalk, but there sure is a lot of it.

Dude who pays more attention to FaceTime than walking

7. Dude who pays more attention to FaceTime than walking

One of these days, you’re going to do us all a favor and trip over a fire hydrant.

Causehead pushing a questionable charity

8. Causehead pushing a questionable charity

No, we don’t have five minutes to save the… redheads?

Painter of angel wings on the side of a building

9. Painter of angel wings on the side of a building

Great, now every basic New Yorker is going to have to stage an IG shoot there.

Dramatic arm swinger

10. Dramatic arm swinger

We get it: You’re on the move. Us, too. But you’re going to take someone’s eye out with those things.


11. Upstreamer

Go ahead, poach the taxi, but we hope the driver talks your ear off about politics and the credit-card machine doesn’t work.

The kickline

12. The kickline

Please, while you may not want to admit that your squad has a pecking order, no more than three across when in transit.

“Check out my mixtape” peep

13. “Check out my mixtape” peep

Okay. Wait, it costs $10? You do realize that you were born into the generation that doesn’t pay for music, right?

Scooter rider on the sidewalk

14. Scooter rider on the sidewalk

We’re not even sure you should be riding that goofy contraption on the street, never mind around pedestrians.

Camera-phone paparazzo

15. Camera-phone paparazzo

Doesn’t matter if it’s a celebrity or just an interesting-looking person: If you want to take someone’s picture, ask them first.

Long leasher

16. Long leasher

Listen, that dog is cute as hell, but the pavement isn’t your personal red-rover court. Also, is it cool if we pet the pup?

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