Some say you become a real New Yorker after living in the city for ten years. Others say the magical moment happens when you first pronounce it "How-stun St." instead of "Hugh-stun St." or have a major celebrity sighting and could care less. One thing's for sure: If you can cross a majority of the things off the following list, you're well on your way to acheiving real New Yorker status.
1. You think Tarrytown is "upstate."
2. You'd ballpark a reasonable price for a cocktail at about $18.
3. You can walk, talk on the phone and hail a cab, all while wearing a face mask.
4. You jaywalk (and would never consider not jaywalking).
5. You're instantly skeptical of/annoyed by any hybrid food creation, no matter how delicious it sounds.
6. …and yet, you've walked 30 blocks in heels, in the rain, just to wait on a two-hour line for said annoying hybrid food creation.
7. You say you're waiting "on line" instead of "in line."
8. The most expensive thing you've ever paid for is the broker's fee on an apartment you lived in for less than a year.
9. You've postponed a breakup because they have central air.
10. You consider Pat Kiernan to be a good friend.
11. If you're apartment is located between two streets, you always say you live on the "edgier" one.
12. You don't avoid eye contact with panhandlers.
13. You've returned to neighborhoods where you lived years ago and have at least five stories along the lines of "I remember when that Starbucks/Citibank/Duane Reade used to be a dive bar/credit union/Burger King."
15. You've walked down a street lined with restaurants while vehemently complaining that there's "nothing to eat."
16. You got excited the first time you saw a film crew shooting in your neighborhood again.
17. You once had a panic attack because it was too quiet in the Catskills.
18. When walking through the city, you adopt a zigzagging route to avoid waiting for the lights to change to cross the street.
19. You've had at least one, very public sidewalk crying sesh.
20. You can spot tourists from over a mile away, even when they're trying really hard to look like New Yorkers.
21. You've never been on a sightseeing bus.
22. You are an expert at "platforming": knowing where on the train platform you need to stand to best get to your exit/transfer.
23. Corollary: You walk to the exact point you know the doors are going to open, also known as pre-boarding.
24. You can dine outside next to a garbage truck and jackhammer drill without being phased.
25. You've gone grocery shopping at both your corner bodega and CVS.
26. You've called someone out for not wearing a mask.
27. All of your "Tupperware" is made up of plastic delivery containers.
28. You know the city's best cheap date is a ferry ride.
29. You know that sometimes, counterintuitive as it may seem, Newark is the nearest airport.
30. You do most of your banking at the corner bodega.
31. An interborough relationship is considered long-distance.
32. Your entire closet is black and that includes the face masks.
33. You make the cabbie take your shorter, faster way (even if, in reality, it is neither shorter nor faster).
34. You've gone through eight umbrellas in the past month.
35. You've lost more than one airpod down a subway grate.
36. Every time you accidentally wander into Times Square, you back away in horror as though confronted with the devil itself.
37. The number 100 gets shortened to "a'hun" when referring to uptown blocks, e.g., "a'hun-81st Street."
38. You call fire hydrants "pumps."
39. You are unfazed by the combined experience of observing a gorgeous summer garden while inhaling the smell of rancid garbage.
40. You've fallen asleep standing up on the subway.
41. Even if you have nowhere to be, you're still in a rush to get there.
42. You pronounce it "draw," not "drawer."
43. You avoid the ten square blocks around the lighting of the Rockefeller Christmas tree like it's forbidden.
44. You hate bikers when you're walking, cars when you're biking and pedestrians when you're driving.
45. You have hit a cab, bus or car with your umbrella when it has blocked the crosswalk.
46. "Hey! Let me get a…" is a perfectly fine way to greet the person taking your order.
47. The last time you used a yoga mat was to mentally measure if someone was six feet away from you.
48. You do look up at tall buildings—but only if it's the latest starchitect-designed tower. And only to remark how you hate it.
49. You know exactly which direction is where, no matter where you are (e.g., "I'll meet you on the northwest corner of 53rd Street").
50. You see a scraggly tree in a patch of dirt on a concrete median and think, "Look at that nice little park!"
51. You know that dollar pizza is like sex: Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.