51 reasons you know you’re a real New Yorker

If you’ve experienced at least 20 of the following, you’re well on your way to having that coveted “real New Yorker” credibility

Photograph: Courtesy Shutterstock

1. You've never, ever been to the Statue of Liberty.
2. You think a reasonable price for either a movie ticket or a decent cocktail is, like, $14.

3. You can walk, eat, talk on the phone and hail a cab, all at the same time.

4. You jaywalk (and would never consider not jaywalking).

5. You're instantly skeptical of/annoyed by any hybrid food creation, no matter how delicious it sounds.

6. …and yet, you've walked 30 blocks in heels, in the rain, just to wait on a two-hour line for said annoying hybrid food creation.

 7. You say you're waiting "on line" instead of "in line."

8. The most expensive thing you've ever paid for is the broker's fee on an apartment you'll live in for less than a year.

9. You've delayed breaking up with someone you're not in love with anymore because they have (a) a really amazing view, (b) a super-adorable puppy or (c) an actual bedframe.

10. You consider Pat Kiernan to be a good friend.

11. You pretend your neighborhood is "edgy" even though for the past few years, it's been so gentrified your parents are talking about moving in down the block.

12. You don't avoid eye contact with panhandlers.

13. You've returned to neighborhoods where you lived years ago and have at least five stories along the lines of "I remember when that Starbucks/Citibank/Duane Reade used to be a dive bar/credit union/Burger King."

14. You consider iconic NYC foods (Juniors cheesecake, John's pizza, Shake Shack burgers, etc.) to be "overrated" but are still weirdly proud that they started here.

15. You've walked down a street lined with restaurants while vehemently complaining that there's "nothing to eat."

16. Finding a film crew in neighborhood has long since stopped being exciting and is now just an annoyance (unless you can sneak a croissant off the Law & Order: SVU craft-services table).

17. You feel scared or uneasy when you go somewhere remote and rural.

18. When walking through the city, you adopt a zigzagging route to avoid waiting for the lights to change to cross the street.

19. You've seen at least one person take a dump in the street (usually while on your way to work).

20. You can spot tourists from over a mile away, even when they're trying really hard to look like New Yorkers.

21. You've never been on a sightseeing bus.

22. You are an expert at "platforming": knowing where on the train platform you need to stand to best get to your exit/transfer. 

23. Corollary: You walk to the exact point you know the doors are going to open, also known as pre-boarding.

24. You know "It's showtime!" can be one of the most annoying/terrifying things that can possibly be yelled at you.

25. You've done your grocery shopping at the bodega on the corner (or at CVS).

26. You've pretended to be asleep in your seat on a crowded train when someone gets on that probably needs the seat more than you.

27. All of your "Tupperware" is made up of plastic delivery containers.

28. You prefer mice over roaches. The lesser evil…

29. Your closet is mostly full of black.

30. You've been to more bodega and sidewalk ATMs than the bank. The bank is TOO FAR.

31. You associate summer with the smell of hot pee.

32. When tourists ask you for directions, even if you don't know, you'll still point them in a random direction rather than admit you don't know.

33. You make the cabbie take your shorter, faster way (even if, in reality, it is neither shorter nor faster).

 34. You've owned eight umbrellas in the past month.

35. You keep several sets of headphones stashed in various places (gym, apartment, work, multiple bags).

36. Every time you accidentally wander into Times Square, you back away in horror as though confronted with the devil itself.

37. The number 100 gets shortened to "a'hun" when referring to uptown blocks, e.g., "a'hun-81st Street."

38. You call fire hydrants "pumps."

39. You are unfazed by the combined experience of observing a gorgeous summer dress while inhaling the smell of rancid garbage.

40. You've fallen asleep standing up on the train.

41. When you have nowhere to be, you're still in a rush to get there.

42. You pronounce it "draw," not "drawer."

43. You avoid the ten square blocks around the lighting of the Rockefeller Christmas tree like the goddamn plague.

44. You knew there was no way in hell Monica and Rachel could have afforded that apartment in the West Village (even before they snuck in the fact that it was rent-controlled).

45. You have hit a cab, bus or car with your umbrella when it has blocked the crosswalk. (You may have even said, "I'm walkin' here!")

46. "Hey, let me get a…" is a perfectly nice way to greet the person taking your order.

47. The New Year's Eve ball drop is best viewed from your television.

48. You do look up at tall buildings—but only if it's the latest starchitect-designed tower.

49. You know exactly which direction is where, no matter where you are (e.g., "I'll meet you on the northwest corner of 53rd Street").

50. You see a scraggly tree in a patch of dirt on a concrete median and think, "Look at that nice little park!"

51. You know that dollar pizza is like sex: Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.


Downstate N

SOUNDS MORE LIKE A NEW YORK CITY PERSON.  A true New Yorker probably would have been to all parts of New York (western NY-Buffalo/Rochester, central NY- Syracuse, Upstate (Adirondacks), Capital Region-Albany) and Downstate-Catskills and south of there. You know you are really from New York when you have been to Lake Placid or Syracuse for the State fair or went to Cooperstown. Maybe you are a Bills Fan if you are from Western NY or a Patriots fan if you are from Upstate and of course, those living in the Albany area and south where they do like the Jets/Giants.  Remember, you can be a New Yorker and not live in NYC, just like not all Oklahoman's live in Oklahoma City, not all New Yorker's live in or around the "City". 

Aaron A

You've experienced a subway stampede.

You fear of being in one again.

You've looked for the Dominicans in Harlem at some point of your life.

You know what the above means, of course. 

You curse regularly at random things, but it's primarily the MTA

You are never embarrassed, even when you should be.

You'll naturally stand on the fucking right. And walk on the fucking right.

Your lunch is always cold -and it stays that way.

Taking a shit is the only space you'll ever have to think thoroughly.

Lastly, if you see something, you'll most probably say nothing.

Gary A

New Yorkers do not need an article to tell us what makes us real New Yorkers. We may be born here but a lot of experiences and the way we see things are different. Maybe except for traffic.

sue y

Please add...you will avoid Fifth Ave between 56th and 57th for the next four years

denilson r

i think some of the stuff on that article was kind of stereotypical. didn't really like the article.

Djavid W

There are only 3 ways to be a real New Yorker.

1) You're born there

2) You lived there for 8 - 10 years

3) You've had a CONVERSATION with one of the following legendary New Yorkers: Robert De Niro, Spike Lee, Woody Allen, Jay-z.

Daniel G

The Lenape Native Americans are the true New Yorkers, all the others are interlopers.

cc h

lady, your an asshat. what a vain incorrigible twat you are. get over yourself. please re look at your blog again. it shows a desperate young vain woman trying to defend her mere existence. well ....if i were u i might have to defend myself too.


@a s You could make it less crowded by taking that attitude and leaving. You can't call yourself a 'real New Yorker' and then make xenophobic comments like that. 

a s

@stylesprinter There's no such thing as finally being a New Yorker. You're a New Yorker if you were born here. If not your an unwanted pain in the ass taking up space in a city that's already too crowded. "We grew here. You flew here."

Bob B

Last but not least--You constantly make obnoxious lists like this about being a New Yorker.