Samantha Baines

To chocolate or not to chocolate: that is the question this weekend. Or is it? What's the alternative? Hard boiled eggs and possible ink poisoning from drawing on them? It's four days of sugary dilemmas but luckily we're on hand to give you a few words of wisdom. Here are eight things you must NEVER do on Easter weekend: Self portrait - Lady and the champ via photopin (license)" data-width-class="" /> photo credit: Self portrait - Lady and the champ via photopin (license)   1. Eat all your chocolate at once   Ah, the chocolate binge. It's like opening all your presents on Christmas Eve – disappointing and messy. Eat all your chocolate at once and you will reach too high a sugar rush for a mere bank holiday to handle. You don't want to chat excitedly to strangers in the street or anything – you know how we Londoners hate forced communication. No, spread your chocolate throughout the day like meals supplemented with some fruit or vegetables for a balanced diet, obvs. Does chocolate count as protein when it's egg shaped?   IMG_6537 via photopin (license)" data-width-class="" /> photo credit: IMG_6537 via photopin (license) 2. Forget it's a bank holiday   It's the first bank holiday of the year – hurrah! Go really wild: not like Michaela Strachan, but just like, enjoy yourself. Check out some of London's hottest Easter weekend parties because you have four days of freedom and post-night-out recovery. Job? What job? Deviled Peeps? via photopin (license)" data-width-class="" /

Outdoor cinema is one of the top summer activities for Londoners – so grab your blankets, pack the prosecco and get ready to spot these four types of people at an open-air film night near you. Via GIPHY 1. The Obsessed Fan They have the T-shirt, the cup and the novelty pen, they’ve seen the film 84 times in the cinema – but now they want to see it outdoors. You’ll be in serious trouble if you block the Obsessed Fan’s view because of something as petty as needing the toilet. And do not attempt to speak to them during the movie – they’ll be too busy quoting along.  Via GIPHY 2. The First Daters They have swiped and messaged and now they have to come up with a cool date idea – sitting outdoors, unable to speak to each other while watching a movie. You’ll easily spot this duo as they’ll be radiating awkwardness – either sitting uncomfortably close or far apart – and one of them will have made much more effort than the other. The First Daters will probably be drinking a lot to combat the awkward vibes. Don’t sit behind them as they may end up snogging for Britain – or at least north London – for the latter part of the film. Via GIPHY 3. The Nature Lover They love the outdoors so much they take their shoes off whenever they’re out of the house. They like breathing fresh air (even in London) and they’ve even tried to grow vegetables on the balcony of their east London flat. They don’t normally ‘

Like the idea of celebrating International Women's Day in the company of brilliantly talented women? Check out these nights raising laughs for womanhood on March 8 and later this month.   Bridget ChristieImage: www.bridgetchristie.co.uk   1. Women Stand Up, Leicester Square Theatre Oxfam and Comic Relief have joined forces to host this special night celebrating comedy talent. The impressive line-up includes Bridget Christie, Shappi Khorsandi, exciting newcomer Athena Kugblenu, Mae Martin and top sketch groups Birthday Girls and Massive Dad. March 8, 7.30pm, £20.   Lou SandersImage: Lou Sanders   2. Berk’s Nest at the Angel Comedy Club, Islington This new monthly residency has an International Women's Day special with an excellent selection of alternative characters and stand-up comedians trying out new material. Performers include the hilarious Lou Sanders, Rose Matafeo, Amy Annette, Phoebe Walsh and the wonderfully dry Evelyn Mok. It's hosted by talented compere Kiri Pritchard-McLean. This comedy club also promotes strong lady line-ups all year round with the Hysterical Women night (the next one is in May). March 8, 8pm, £15.  3. International Women’s Day Benefit for Women's Aid, Walthamstow TV favourite Sara Pascoe – now with a bestselling book to her name – headlines this show raising money for Women's Aid. ‘Newsjack’ host Angela Barnes also performs alongside Juliet Meyers, Susan Murray and the wonderfully political Grainne Maguire. Go east (well, east London) to enjo

It's the spire that inspires a lot of love from photographers, and you can see it poking the sky from all over central London (unless a skyscraper's in the way). But have you ever actually been? That spire is attached to a whole cathedral, you know. Here are some reasons to visit this important spike in the London skyline.  1. The view from the river So Instagrammable.   Be sure not to miss the last few days of the amazing Georgia O'Keeffe exhibition at @Tate Modern. The walk here isn't so bad either... 🇬🇧 #London #Southbank #Exhibition #TateModern #Bankside #LoveLondon #StPauls #MilleniumBridge #Thames A photo posted by Mondrian London (@mondrianldn) on Oct 18, 2016 at 3:58am PDT 2. The ironwork Bulls-eye. That is one fancy gate.   #StPaulsCathedral #StPauls #Dome #Goldengallery #528steps #PaternosterSquare #railing #artistic #view #London A photo posted by Zoe Nunes (@nuttynunes) on Oct 26, 2016 at 7:09am PDT  3. The view inside Mind how you go on your way down: there will be quite a few jaws to step over.   Lovely tour of St Paul's Cathedral today #cathedral #stpaulscathedral #london #work #worklife #city A photo posted by leannegrimes25 (@leannegrimes25) on Oct 26, 2016 at 7:31am PDT 4. The stairs that spin you right round Don't drink before climbing these bad boys.   Geometric staircase at #stpauls #london #stpaulscathedral #architecture #architecturalphotography #christopherwren A photo posted by @shadovelo on Oct 26, 2016 at 1:32am PDT 5.

Comedian, blogger and 'The Crown' actress Samantha Baines reckons the new period drama is more relatable to London life than you think.  'The Crown' may be all about the Royals and high society, but it was mostly filmed in London near us normal folk – and a lot of it is set in the city, too. Here are several moments from Netflix's crowning glory that show that our newest binge-watch has nailed London life. 1. London pollution is pretty bad  Playing Mary in episode four was a lot of fun – even though my role is essentially coughing in different locations (see above). We might not have the smog of 1950s but 60 plus years on and our air still ain't pretty. 2. The tube priority seat stand-off  via GIPHY Winston Churchill (John Lithgow) and the Queen (Claire Foy) perfectly recreate the tired lady vs actual OAP priority seat stand-off that we see daily on our fine tube network. 3. Working from home because it's cold and London desk spaces are too expensive via GIPHY Churchill had it right – you should always work naked with a glass of something delicious. Anyway, working out of your bathroom is better than a freezing warehouse in Vauxhall with no toilet paper but a really 'urban creative vibe'. 4. Spotting people handing out free samples at Victoria station via GIPHY Who doesn't love free stuff? Prince Phillip is definitely on board. 'A teeny deodorant and a drink I would never normally buy, for free? Yes please. Can I have seven? Asking for a friend.' 5. Agreeing to go to y

Want to pop out for a few drinks, a Sunday roast or a just a merry jaunt around London? Here are the picturesque pubs that will make your friends all the more eager to meet for drinks, while also keeping your social media following green with envy. 1. Roundhouse, Wandsworth You spin me right round baby, right round. Yep – alcohol and circular shaped pubs will do that to you. Colourful, round and standing proud, the Roundhouse pub in Wandsworth makes a pretty picture and it's dog friendly, so your pooch can enjoy the picturesque setting too.   @roundhousesw18 in Wandsworth looking splendid in all its flowery glory. I am beginning to feel very panicky about the onset of Autumn and looking down the barrel of no more flowery pubs for a while.. We must enjoy them whilst it lasts! And remember summer doesn't officially end until 22nd September! #flowerpower #brightandbeautiful #londonpub #londonpubs #englishpub #londonbar #londonbars #londonarchitecture #londonbuildings #londondrinks #londonfood #londonfoodie #gastropub #londonblogger #toplondonpubs #wandsworth #london A photo posted by Pubs Of London (@top_london_pubs) on Sep 1, 2016 at 12:48am PDT   2. The Albert, Westminster This blossoming gem is a Grade II-listed pub and is just a short walk from the Houses of Parliament. Built in 1862, this Victorian building is the only remaining building from the original phase of development on Victoria Street. It's attractive inside and out, so stop for a tipple while sight-seeing.

It looks like those scary clowns reigning terror in other parts of the world have finally come to London. We don't know where they're from but one wielding a chainsaw in Uxbridge has said sorry – so we can only assume they're British. But us Londoners won't be scared by a few people clowning around – not when we also have to deal with this sort of thing. 1. The prospect of Honey G winning 'The X Factor' 'Don't be silly' you cry, but Honey G has a new incentive to get to the final. Snoop Dogg has promised the 'rapper' from north London (or North Weezy) a duet if she gets to the final. Now THAT is some scary TV.  via GIPHY 2. Donald Trump opening his mouth London may currently feel far away from Trump but imagine if that walking haystack becomes President. Trump has already revealed his unique and highly offensive brand of 'locker-room banter'. We dread to hear what's next from the creepy clown himself. via GIPHY 3. The year-round Christmas shop in London Bridge Why would anyone need to buy a Christmas bauble in May? via GIPHY 4. The pound falling even further If you saw a pounds falling like a round straight out of the Crystal Maze you'd catch them right? Alas, it's not that simple when it comes to the economy, otherwise we'd be catching pounds left right and centre. With the pound at a 31-year low against the dollar it's a scary time to have a bank account – way scarier than some clowns pounding the pavements.  via GIPHY   5. Horny creepy crawlies It's mating season

Time Out blogger Samantha Baines shares her experience of having a go at morris dancing for the first time. When Time Out asked me if I wanted to go morris dancing my first response was 'yeah, why not' because I am super cool and spontaneous like that. However, after agreeing to this most British of dancing rituals, I began to see nightmare visions of bells, sticks and ribbons at country fairs and I felt that perhaps I had bitten off more than I could jig. There was no getting out of it, so I had a couple of glasses of prosecco and made my husband come with me and actually it was quite fun. Here are a few things I learned from morris and from dancing. 1. Sticks make me feel powerful  On entering our morris dancing lesson we were presented with two sticks each. Well, presenting makes it sound grander than it was – they were on the floor and I picked them up. Morris dancing sticks have coloured tape around both ends and I think this was just for aesthetics (top morris dancing tip for beginners: buy coloured tape). The sticks were about an arm's length and as thick as the amount of spaghetti you'd cook for two people, so pretty substantial. I have to confess that waving and banging said sticks was my absolute favourite part. They made me feel powerful, loud and a bit like a ninja fighter in an action movie, although they rarely have bells (no bells were included in this class which was disappointing, but maybe that's the next level up). 2. Prosecco doesn't help Morris dancing is

Us Londoners are stylish beings. We match our shoes to our handbags, our lips to our post boxes and our moods to the colour of the sky. Why shouldn't we match that tiny bit of plastic that we use day in, day out: the one tourists can't seem to get the hang of and the thing that pisses us off the most when we can't find it (that and our keys). Here are seven things you can match to your Oyster card to become the fashion god/goddess you've always dreamed of being.   Student @luciedavis has created #Oystercard nails which ACTUALLY let you tap in and out 😵 Would you wear them? 💅 #capitalbreakfast A photo posted by Capital London (@capitallondon) on Jul 15, 2016 at 1:04am PDT   1. Nails A student actually created Oyster card nails! Handy.   6th Aug 2016 Coincidence or design ?! #london #oystercard #tfl #plate A photo posted by ARMaani (@instamaani) on Aug 6, 2016 at 3:43am PDT   2. Crockery  Eating doesn't have to be dull. Why not co-ordinate your dinner with your journey home? And why stop at crockery, a whole Oyster-themed kitchen would be glorious, wouldn't it? You'd never need to leave the house – but if you did, there's an Oyster card for that!     Can't believe I went to London and only brought back lip balm for myself ⁉⁉ #london #shopping #england #uk #teddybear #findingdory #londonbus #refrigeratormagnet #oystercard #lipbalm #carmex #youknowyoureamotherwhen #motherhood #motheranddaughter A photo posted by Dinner at Six Thirty (@dinneratsixthirty) on

There are so many places to party in London that I feel like I'm in a Ferrero Rocher advert; 'London, with all these places to drink booze you're really spoiling us'. But while lack of choice is no issue, there are some things you should definitely avoid. Here are seven things you should never do on a night out in London because I want you to survive and prosper. over-relaxed via photopin (license)" data-width-class="" /> photo credit: over-relaxed via photopin (license)   1. Get your bum out on the tube It's just not a good idea. via GIPHY 2. Get an Uber home Price surge alert! Who doesn't hate that pop up that tells you how much more you'll have to pay because of 'high demand'. You take no notice when you're out on the town but it will only make your hangover worse the next day when you realise just how much it cost you to get back to your comfy bed. Top tip: keep partying until after 2am then the surges should have calmed down. via GIPHY   3. Go anywhere near Old Street You will get run over. That huge Old Street roundabout is a nightmare to cross at the best of times, never mind when you are drunk of mind and body. There are clubs that spill out onto street corners, back streets which at first appearance seem pedestrian only until a stressed Uber driver comes hurtling along and there are even cobbled streets. It is many accidents waiting to happen – steer clear. via GIPHY 4. Buy alcohol... ...in bars, that is. Corner shops and supermarkets, however, are fine. Inste

The London Underground is a lot like a 007 spy movie: there are hidden entrances (under the Houses of Parliament), secret codes and Daniel Craig (well, he is British; he must have taken the tube once). You will have to find Daniel Craig on your own but we can help with the secret codes bit. Here are eight London tube codes you would never know the meanings of unless you watched that documentary series on the tube and wrote them all down. They have called most of them 'code', so it's not like they are trying that hard on keeping it a secret.   Code 1: Blood Code 1 is announced when someone has lost some of the red stuff, be it in injury or a lady pants related situation. This code can most often be heard on October 31 when there is fake Code 1 all over the place. Many members of tube staff also use it in the place of a common profanity: 'Oh Code 1'y hell, Margaret, I forgot to tap out at Highbury & Islington.'   Code 2: Urine/faeces Blood is one thing but going to the toilet on the tube is a whole other story – and we are not just talking number one, as Code 2 covers a number one and a number two. It seems some Londoners get over-excited or caught short and can't help doing a Code 2 on the tube. And many people just can't seem to get to grips with the fact that the tube is not National Rail and there aren't toilets on the trains. 'Alan, you've Code 2'd in the stairwell and the splash-back has contaminated my oyster card AGAIN. No Alan. That's a Metro, not a human litter tray'.

Where have all the funny women gone? They're organising some excellent nights of comedy for ye laughter-seeking Londoners. There's tons of all-female comedy action this spring –here are a few shows you shouldn't miss. The Playground, Southwark If improvised comedy is your bag then check out this night at improv's favourite pub: The Miller in London Bridge. This improv show is hosted by popular duo Lauren Shearing and Maria Peters from Breaking & Entering plus special guests. Lauren and Maria don't bill the show as all-female – it's just a top night of comedy and it happens that all the performers are women. Previous guests have included TV names and members of Olivier award-winning improv troupe 'Showstoppers The Musical'. Pop along for some spur-of-the-moment laughs. May 6, 8pm. The Miller, 98 Snowfields Rd, London Bridge, SE1 3SS. Tickets: £5 My Comedy, Charing Cross This all-lady show happens on the first Thursday of every month. My Comedy provides stellar all-female line-ups including Shazia Mirza, Zoe Lyons and Jen Brister all hosted by experienced MC Maureen Younger. A night that will not disappoint. May 5/June 2, 8pm. Retro Bar, 2 George Court, WC2N 6HH. Tickets: £10 (or £8 in advance)     A photo posted by Samantha Baines (@samanthabaines) on Apr 20, 2016 at 2:03am PDT Funny Women Awards heats, Embankment 2016 marks the fourteenth year of the annual Funny Women Awards: a competition to find the best new female comedy makers on the circuit. For female comedians/s