It looks like those scary clowns reigning terror in other parts of the world have finally come to London. We don't know where they're from but one wielding a chainsaw in Uxbridge has said sorry – so we can only assume they're British. But us Londoners won't be scared by a few people clowning around – not when we also have to deal with this sort of thing.
1. The prospect of Honey G winning 'The X Factor'
'Don't be silly' you cry, but Honey G has a new incentive to get to the final. Snoop Dogg has promised the 'rapper' from north London (or North Weezy) a duet if she gets to the final. Now THAT is some scary TV.
2. Donald Trump opening his mouth
London may currently feel far away from Trump but imagine if that walking haystack becomes President. Trump has already revealed his unique and highly offensive brand of 'locker-room banter'. We dread to hear what's next from the creepy clown himself.
3. The year-round Christmas shop in London Bridge
Why would anyone need to buy a Christmas bauble in May?
4. The pound falling even further
If you saw a pounds falling like a round straight out of the Crystal Maze you'd catch them right? Alas, it's not that simple when it comes to the economy, otherwise we'd be catching pounds left right and centre. With the pound at a 31-year low against the dollar it's a scary time to have a bank account – way scarier than some clowns pounding the pavements.
5. Horny creepy crawlies
It's mating season for spiders so expect some scary-looking arachnids, false windows and cardinal spiders humping in the corner of your bedroom. But what's scarier – watching a spider having sex or Donald Trump? (Answers in the comments please.)