SMBC Singapore Open

1) The Show Golfer

You can’t miss him. Puffy hat, knee-high socks and wingtip Oxfords make this vintage lover stand out from the pack. Oh, and lots and lots of argyle. The Show Golfer watches Ryder Cup footage from the ’20s to remind himself of the gentlemanly traditions of the sport, yet has no problem fishing out top-of-the-line clubs from his bag. 

2) The Pro Swing Guy

‘No, your shoulders are off.’ ‘You need more swivel in your hips.’ ‘Try bending your knees more.’ The Pro Swing Guy offers so much unsolicited advice that you’d forget he isn’t a coach – he’s the dude who’s actually five strokes behind you in the game. 

3) The Big Hitter

You’ll feel sorry for his golf clubs. The Big Hitter spends his afternoons at the driving range pummelling balls as far as he can, and he sizes up a tee shot like a Renaissance painter would a nude. All that planning and pent-up energy means he hits 280 yards consistently, no biggie. But wait ’til he gets caught in a sand trap – hell hath no fury. 

4) The Bro

Bluetooth earpiece, check. Mobile phone clasped to belt, check. Shoes that cost more than your mortgage, double and triple check that. On the course, The Bro schmoozes as well as he plays, and he’ll never let you forget that. Which would be annoying were it not for the fact that you actually, secretly enjoy his boisterous company.

5) The Fast and Furious

Swing, hit, cart, repeat – this golfer’s all about speed. He doesn’t care about that new club you bought or your improving handicap. He just wants to play 18 holes in 2 hours. You laugh now, but have you seen The Fast and Furious man a golf cart? F1 drivers ain’t got nothin’ on him.