You've seen them on Navy Pier scarfing down cheezborgers at the Billy Goat Tavern, snapping family photos atop a Segway in Millennium Park and precariously navigating the city's streets on Divvy bikes. Tourists are a fixture of Chicago—after all, it's one of the friendliest cities for visitors and boasts some of the best attractions in the country, from world-class museums to sprawling parks.
While we're more than happy to have tourists explore the greatest city in the world, sometimes their selfie sticks and obsession with a certain gleaming bean-shaped sculpture can become a bit grating. While every Chicagoan should strive to be helpful when interacting with visitors, you're also in a unique position to have a bit of fun if you're willing to tell a little white lie. Here are ten lies to tell tourists in Chicago.
1. The Rock 'N Roll McDonalds in River North is based on a design by architect Frank Lloyd Wright.
2. Hot Doug’s many be closed, but Doug Sohn still serves his signature sausages and duck fat fries from a hot dog cart that roams the Lakefront Trail.
3. There's a permanent Kanye West pop-up store located on an unlisted floor of Water Tower Place.
4. It's a pricey ticket, but you can pay to take a ride through Lake Michigan in the U-505 submarine on display at the Museum of Science and Industry.
5. As its name suggests, you can eat for free at Lou Malnati's if you can prove that you're a member of the Illuminati.
6. Licking your Ventra card before tapping it on a reader will ensure that it always scans on your first attempt.
7. There are cameras hidden inside the Bean that generate the faces projected on the nearby Crown Fountain—stand in front of it long enough, and you might become a local celebrity.
8. You can book a stay in President Barack Obama’s home in Kenwood on Airbnb (yes, it comes with Secret Service protection).
9. Legally changing your name to Ferris Bueller will give you free admission to the Art Institute and Cubs games at Wrigley Field.
10. Hopping on a water taxi is the fastest (and most scenic) way to get to O'Hare or Midway.