Get us in your inbox

Photograph: Neal O'Bryan

20 things your parents will say when they visit you in Chicago

Written by
Stephanie Bernstein

Hosting your out-of-town parents for a weekend in Chicago can be a trip. No matter where they're from, they'll probably want to see the city's top attractions, gawk at the Bean and dine out at all the places you've already been 100 times over. The only thing keeping you sane is their hilarious commentary about the city you call home. Whether you're playing tour guide or letting the fam fend for themselves, you're guaranteed to hear these statements at some point.

"So wait. You take the train to work every day?"

"You paid how much for that doughnut?"

"I don't understand the difference between breakfast and brunch."

"You didn't even wait for the light to change before crossing the street!"

"You want to walk how far?"

"I thought this was just going to be a few blocks away."

"Who would wait that long for a burger?"

"So the cheese and caramel go together?"

"Do the buses take credit card?"

"So you just, like, get in the back of a stranger's car?"

"Can we take that Loop train thing?"

"What's that big silver ball called again?"

"My friend from college says I have to go to Navy Pier."

"They said Illuminati's has the best deep dish pizza."

"Taking the train past 9pm? Is that safe?"

"Look at all those Cubs hats. We must be close to Wrigley Field."

"I don't know what any of these beers mean. Just order something for me."

"Where's the Bean from here?"

"Do you have hand sanitizer?"

"It smells like garbage."

Want more? Sign up to stay in the know.

Latest news