If you thought Christmas was all about quality family time, getting sloshed on eggnog and loading up on turkey while ignoring the Queen's speech you'd be wrong. It's actually all about one thing: presents. As you might have noticed from every single television advert, billboard and email newsletter, this Friday is Black Friday – the American import that gets everyone in a frenzy, clawing at each other over reduced vacuum cleaners and half-price bottles of prosecco.
If you are truly desperate for a bargain but are too lazy to queue for one yourself, you can now hire someone to do it for you. Yep, London-based start-up Bidvine is offering Black Friday queuers for hire and they'll be equipping them with 'energy bars, water and personal toilet facilities to ensure they can stay in line as long as necessary'.
All you have to do is put in your postcode, your desired shopping destination and how long you think the queue will be – though with hire charge at an estimated £15 an hour, you're probably better off beating the queues online or better still skipping the hideous day altogether.
Want to get drunk on Black Friday instead? A super-rare beer is launching in London this Friday.