London ahoy: the capital's best boat trips

How to travel in style on London's waterways

The Royally Rich Afternoon Tea

When a boat trip has ‘Royally Rich’ in the title, you just know you’re going to end up marrying a billionaire. And if you don’t, console yourself with a slice of Battenberg, plus champagne…for an additional £8. Yolo. Boats are running from Tower Pier every Monday and Tuesday throughout April.

The Tate-to-Tate boat

True glamour costs £12 return, darling. And by glamour we mean you – in your biggest sunglasses, and maybe a mink stole – cruising between Millbank and Southwark every 40 minutes.

Moo Canoes

For £60 you and two friends can spend four hours in a kayak in Limehouse Basin like absolute divas. Bring a gold-lamé bikini and enough core strength to actually move the thing.

The Music Boat

Kick back with the Lidl Cava and lounge like a boss in a former Cambridge punt. Acoustic bands and gypsy jazzists sail with you along Camden’s canal, pandering to your every (musical) whim.

RIB Tours London

If you’re a fastlivin’ Londoner then you’ll want to take a trip on a rigid inflatable boat. A 50 minute ‘high speed thrill tour’, heading towards Canary Wharf, will have the Thames splashing in your face and the Bond music playing in your head. Price: £32.

By Kate Lloyd and Tristan Parker