There was a time pre-Boxpark when Croydon wasn't hip, happening and trying to be cool. It was all bad pubs, cheap drinks and questionable nightclubs, a time where fake tan, polo shirts and passive aggressive bouncers reigned.
So if you used to go out in Croydon, there are some things you’ll know better than anyone.
1. You still don’t know why you spent so much of your youth being drunk and dancing to Sean Paul in Lloyds. It was literally just a Wetherspoon’s. Inside a cinema.
2. You've ordered a Soco and Lemonade at least once. If you know, you know.
3. You and your friends have been asked to leave The George more times than you care to remember. Somehow you were always allowed back in the week, no matter how outrageous your behaviour.
4. You spent every Friday night between the ages of 17 and 20 listening to the same garage album on loop in Yates. But you were too pissed on Barcardi Breezers or trying to chirpse Darren from JD Sports Whitgift Centre to care.
5. You remember when Reflex was an actual place that you’d go. The bloke with the iPod shuffle and speakers used to dress up like an old school headmaster. Because that wasn’t creepy.
6. You used to spend all of our Saturday job wage packet in The Goose. You bought £5 bottles of really terrible rosé wine and 'Croydon Jaegerbombs'.
7. You almost certainly did something mildly sexual in the foam party at Walkabout. And if you didn’t, you’ve punched someone who tried to do something remotely sexual with you under the foam.
8. You remember turning 21 and being legally allowed to go into Tiger Tiger on nights that weren’t Thursdays. You'd go to ‘The White Room’ for entertainment on a Saturday because it made you feel like you were in Ibiza. #classy
9. You were totally okay with getting your photo taken and passport practically copied just to get in Black Sheep Bar. Who knew ordering a cider and black warranted the same processes as getting a job for the government?
10. And no night was complete without the customary queue outside Roadrunners cab shop. At best, you’d be sober enough to realise how savage the people were that you were queuing with. At worst, you’d almost certainly grab a KFC from over the road beforehand.
And here are seven of the best things to eat at Boxpark Croydon.