Remember when someone published an amazing book of 'Breaking Bad'-inspired desserts? Well now they've done the same with 'Game of Thrones'. Think edible versions of the unsullied (made without nuts), gingerbread Tyrions and a custard pie known as 'Brienne of Tart'. The author? Jammy Lanister (we suspect that's not their real name). Here's a handful of our favourite recipes from 'Game of Scones'. Oh, and be warned – there's a few (utterly delicious-looking) plot spoilers below.
Usually, a bran muffin is one whose contents could be smushed into rock-hard flakes and turned into the breakfast cereal of people whose mornings suck. Not when it's a 'Game of Thrones' equivalent, though. Nope: for that, you get a muffin that's iced to look like the head of a man-mountain whose entire vocabulary is his own name (HODOR!) and which teaches us a surprising lesson: put some icing onto a white chocolate button, then surround it with four licorice strips and it looks astonishingly like Bran Stark.
'The Iron Scone'
Get some Cadbury's chocolate fingers, slice the ends off to make them pointy, stick them into the top of scone alongside some Mikado King biscuits and coat with edible silver food spray. What do you have? The afternoon tea equivalent of the Iron Throne.
A cake pop, but not as you know it. Cola laces make flowing locks, chocolate sprinkles create a beard and a sense of pointless loyalty to dead king Robert Baratheon mean it ends up skewered upon a bloody lollipop stick. It's Ned Stark, rendered as ball of chocolate cake, basically. There's a specific way to eat it as well: according to the book, it's best eaten 'with the hand' (arf).
'Castle Black Forest Gateau'
See what they've done there? They've flipped a black forest gateau onto its side, run a chocolate ladder up it and created mini ramparts out of (you guessed it) more chocolate so that it looks like Castle Black. But with more cherries involved.
'Daenerys' Dragon Eggs'
Melt some chocolate buttons onto an easter egg, then spray with metallic food paint. Hey presto: you've got a show-stopping dessert guaranteed to delight 'Thrones' heads. We wouldn't recommend chucking them into a fire to see if baby dragons emerge, though.
'Oberyn's Smashing Surprise'
So good is this rendering of Oberyn's final moments that we're gonna need more than one photo to show you its brilliance. First, you ice a chocolate egg to look like Oberyn Martell of Dorne and place your thumbs over the place where his eyes should be…
…then you squeeze…
…and DA DAH: all those chopped up raspberries and strawberry jelly suddenly look incredibly like brains. If not especially appetising.
'Game of Scones' is published by Orion on Nov 5, priced £9.99.