Believe it or not, Morden isn’t just the place you end up when you fall asleep on the Northern line. You know you’re a straight up Mordenite when...
You always get a seat on the tube. No, seriously.
Ah, what bliss is this? A seat on the tube guaranteed every single morning? Yes, you’re at the southernmost point of the Northern line, friend, and this is the kind of luxury Londoners are supposed to be living in. It does of course mean that if you’re asked on a night out in north London, you might as well be asked on a night out in Scotland, but a long journey home is a small price to pay for a guaranteed newspaper every day.
You agree that technically Morden is in Surrey (but you'll fight anyone to the death who says you’re not a Londoner)
Is it Surrey? Is it London? We’ll never know. In the meantime we’ll continue to enjoy cheaper rent while living in Zone 4, thank you very much.
You've tried every type of cuisine within a 30-second walk from the tube station
You've sat down to an amazing three-course Italian meal at Bella Donna, grabbed a tasty taquito from Rainbow Food Mexican, gorged on an Indian buffet at Mahal, got some pub grub at Ganley’s Irish Bar, enjoyed a taste of the orient at China Garden and polished off a fish supper from Superfish before rolling your way home.
You are strangely proud of Morden Hall Park and you don't know why
Behold, the native Mordenite emerges from its home during summer and heads for Morden Hall Park to spend an unhealthy amount of time soaking up every possible drop of sunlight. This park plays host to some of the best open air cinema viewings in London over the summer, a breathtaking fireworks display in November and a totally badass garden centre all year round.
You revel in the abundance of trains, tubes, trams and things within walking distance
The South Bank is just a tube journey away. You can ride the rails all the way to New Addington on the tram if you want to. You can walk to the Odeon in Wimbledon (although let’s face it, you never will). The possibilities are truly endless.
You’ve taken a posed picture on the big white bridge
Any Instagram junkie worth their salt has taken a strategic photo of, or on, the iconic landmark that is the big white bridge in Morden Hall Park, with the River Wandle trickling away beneath them. Fun fact: in 2015 it was also named the second best bridge in the UK to play Poohsticks on. If that doesn’t bring the tourists flocking to Morden then nothing will.