Were the Ancient Greeks really this horny? That was the main question running through my mind during Ancient Grease, a fringe musical parody of Grease, set in Ancient Greece, where the plot revolves around an orgy, olive oil is used as lube, and there’s a running joke about Ares the god of war being into butt stuff.
If this description sounds all Greek to you, you are absolutely not the target audience for Ancient Grease. But if outrageous, ribald humour is your bag, then read on. I think you may enjoy this show.
Twists duly accepted, the plot is pretty recognisable as Grease. The monogamous and prudish goddess of marriage Hera (our Sandy) is looking for a loyal man to marry, but the three Fates, dressed in sparkling gold outfits with matching cat-eye sunglasses, have other ideas. They determine that Hera ends up with the bro-ish and philandering head of the Alphas, Zeus (this version’s Danny), played by the hilariously gormless Peter Camilleri who sports a fitting fuck-boy mullet. The action takes place during senior year at Olympus Academy as the gods get ready for the big event of the season: the school orgy. Ancient Grease is written by drag artist Lady Aria Grey and directed by Dan Wye, also known as the legendary drag act Séayoncé.
It’s a riot throughout. When it comes to dirty jokes, this parody musical really commits to the bit. From start to finish it’s a constant barrage of sex puns, gyrating, air humping and lewd gestures. There are other perhaps more intelligent quips as well, like one about Dionysus ‘pissing wine’. And there are funny moments that point out just how weird the original Grease plot actually is: a story of a teenage boy who repeatedly pressures a girl to have sex with him, until she eventually relents at the very end. ‘What is this, Grease the movie?’ says Zeus after he sneakily touches Hera’s breast without her consent at the drive-in. There are also chariot races, sapphic plot lines, Greek weddings and a grudge wrestling match between Hera and Persephone. If it sounds mad, that’s because it is.
The acting is lively and fun. There won’t be any Oliviers handed out for the American accents in this performance, but nobody is coming to see Ancient Grease for the dialect acting, really. Lucy Penrose does a fabulous job as Athena (the Rizzo of this production) with a New Yoik drawl, while Hades (Ollie Thomas Smith) and Persephone (Safia Bartley) both have hilarious Texan twangs. Philippa Leadbetter puts on the most ridiculous voice as Hera, adopting a totally bogan, over-the-top Ozzie brogue. I won’t be forgetting Leadbetter’s ‘Noiiiiii’ any time soon. All of the singing is very good.
The whole show probably could have been about 20 minutes shorter. But the second act is where Ancient Grease really comes into its own. A particular high-point is the parody of ‘Sandy’, as the thicker-by-the-minute Zeus sings about struggling to remember the name of the goddess he’s just gotten engaged to.
If you’re into the smutty vibe, Ancient Grease is a right laugh. It’s got a lot of heart, and the whole experience had a brilliant inclusive atmosphere. At this show you’re guaranteed to have a top silly night out – just leave the grandparents at home.
