As someone who has slept on a fair share of couches throughout my twenties, the last thing I want to do is mock someone looking to rent one out so they can live cheaply and follow their dream (or procure more money for weed). However, when you're couch hunting there has to be a line, and that line starts and ends with a can of Lysol... and how much you'll have to use it before going to sleep at night. Here are three couches for rent that will need some sanitization prior to resting your head.
1. Credit check required. Yes, that's right. We can't have you looting cans of Progresso or using the peanut butter for something other than a sandwich condiment. Oh, and click on the ad to see your new roommate, half-naked.
2. Be sexy and 'cool as hell.' So, yeah. It's free. But is it really? The couch may not say casting in front of it, but we all know how this goes.
3. Live out your dreams. It takes a few paragraphs peppered with phrases like "a positive atmosphere that encourages growth and creativity" and "make that dream come true," until you realize that this is essentially a highfalutin way of saying, "we're swingers." The true meaning may not be clear until the fourth paragraph that has lines that read "Just be bi who is open to nsa/fwb type relationship with both of us" and "we offer the living room couch but hoping you'd be open to sharing our bed as we cuddle together at night." Maybe they are actually referring to wet dreams?
