How many thoughtful conversations do you have with new people each week? Perhaps you work in an industry where you interact with strangers every single day, either by phone, through countless emails or in person; but could you really say anything about them, like how many siblings they have or where they went to school? I couldn't. I don't remember the last time I asked a stranger about his or her life outside of work. That's how one guy's job in sales felt—a lot of meaningless interactions full of rejection. So he quit.
Meet Rob Lawless, a 26-year-old from Philadelphia who wants to meet 10,000 people in ten years. The "Robs10kFriends" project started in November 2015. The initial experiences were encouraging enough to convince him to keep doing it.
He previously worked in finance, then sales, and was on track to pursue an MBA and lead a perfectly financially stable life, but when he got laid off in June 2016, he decided to focus on his project full-time. Now, more than a thousand friends later, he has taken his project across the country and is in Los Angeles, meeting people on the West Coast.
"I would see people [around Philadelphia] all the time who were part of the project," he says. "It became this huge, cool community. I'm hoping to do that here too."
Today, he visited me at work in Downtown Los Angeles and I became friend #1,062.
Here's what I learned about my new friend Rob: He may never go back to a job in finance, if circumstances permit. He is the youngest of three siblings and it may break his mother's heart if he decides to move away from Philadelphia for good. He has built many meaningful connections along the way through this project and he is absolutely committed to doing it for the full ten years. He could potentially meet his goal in a shorter amount of time, but he doesn't want to overextend himself by scheduling too many people each day, essentially turning his adventure into a job.
"I could go through all of the messages on my Instagram and meet six people a day, but I need to be able to do this at a smoother pace," he says. "Otherwise, it becomes too stressful."
It's a lot of work. Rob wants to sit down with each new friends for an hour, because he genuinely wants to have a real conversation and get to know each person. Potential friends need to schedule in advance, preferably by email, because this takes some serious coordinating. My meeting with him was scheduled more than a month in advance when a friend of mine (friend #210) shared Rob's story on Facebook and announced he was coming to L.A.
After each meeting, he posts a photo on his Instagram and Facebook page along with a short story on what he's learned about each person. I asked him if he's had any unpleasant experiences so far and he quickly shook his head. "When I'm talking to people, I'm kind of just blindingly trusting what they tell me. To me, how people tell their story is part of the whole experience."
Rob will be in Los Angeles through the end of August and then will return again in January, 2018. He's accepting invitations to meet via email at robs10kfriends@gmail.com.
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