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Runyon Canyon, hike
Photograph: Benny Haddad

The 10 people you see hiking Runyon Canyon

Written by
Obnoxious LA

Los Angeles is all about seeing and being seen... especially when you’re exercising. And what better place to check out the scene amidst the scenery than Runyon Canyon? Tucked behind a slew of apartments, the parking nightmare of a hike is a hot destination for locals, transplants and tourists. But more specifically, you're likely to see these 10 types of folks.

1. The Hollywood agent. The panorama of all of Los Angeles is the view from his second office. He's a Hollywood hotshot who reps some pretty big clients—which you know about because he's talking about them really loudly on his Bluetooth.

2. The overly made-up girl. This girl makes it a point to apply full make up before she heads to Runyon to sweat it all off in an attempt to become one of the hike's spectacular views. Because the hike is all about two things—getting your fitness on and having people see you do it.

3. The tourist who didn't know Runyon involved hiking. Runyon Canyon is a recommendation in virtually every LA guidebook, so on any given day, you'll run into a few confused tourists walking around in jeans and fanny packs. They struggle through the trails, slowed down by the extra weight of the Canon cameras hanging around their necks.

4. The shirtless wonder. He likes to show off the muscles he's gotten by jogging around Runyon with his shirt off... by jogging around Runyon with his shirt off. It's a never-ending circle—like a Möbius strip of hotness.

5. The “maybe” celebrity. He's, you know, that guy who was in, um, oh, what's his name? You know. He was in that movie. It looks like it might be him, anyways. It's hard to tell because his sunglasses are so large, and he's got that hat on.

6. The dog walker. You hear the jingle jangle of a zillion keys. Out of nowhere, there is a guy wearing a belt that has about fifteen leashes attached to it. Dogs of all breeds shoot out from his waist like spokes from a wheel, all panting in exhaustion.

7. The lazy hiker. Runyon is the backdrop for her latest photo shoot. Her Lululemon pants make her look like a fitness instructor, but she's only capable of doing about a quarter of the hike. She’ll end up taking selfies of herself and her girlfriends for twenty minutes.

8. The hiking guru. The guy who’s literally running the hike like, “this ain’t my first rodeo, kid.” What takes you 45 minutes, takes him 15 minutes. He wears those weird toe shoes and somehow manages to make them look really cool as he does some Parkour around your slow little tush.

9. The fitness mom. She’s the independent woman who is not going to let her kids get in the way of her staying fit. She is the power mom who is pushing a stroller with one kid, while one is strapped into a baby bjorn and the third she wears like a backpack.

10. The “what’s your job?” guy. He's starting his hike at 11am, just as you're finishing yours. It's the only planned event on his calendar all day. As an out of work actor, he has the luxury of spending all day, every day at Runyon while he waits for that callback. 

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