The top 5 phrases feared by Angelenos

Written by
Justin Cross
city, downtown LA
Photograph: Courtesy of Wikimedia CommonsCertain things we hear in this city are just scary.

Near perfect weather, beaches, mountains, endless farmers' markets, craft beer, living in the entertainment capital of the world... the list goes on. But while we may love our weather and our lifestyle and think others may be crazy for not picking up and moving here as well, sometimes there are certain phrases that leave us in shambles.

1. "In-N-Out is closed." So, it's been a late night, and you've just told your Uber driver that you're craving animal style. Since he's also an Angeleno, he understands that when you say this, you're not a total freak. However, you closed the bar down and now your only option is Del Taco with a side of Pepto-Bismol.

2. "Will you come to my comedy show?" What you say... "Sure, of course I want to to support you. What's the date and time, though? I might have a thing." What you're actually thinking... "Honestly, no. I really don't. I mean, I love you and all. I'm sure you're really funny. But I'd rather not drive to Hollywood on a Wednesday night to see you perform at midnight. Plus, until I see you on TV, you'll just be a waiter to me." 

3. "Yo, new music, listen to my CD, just listen, it's crazy." Okay, we get it. You're the next Jay-Z. But right now, we'd rather spend the few bucks in our wallets tipping the guy on the Venice Boardwalk who jumps on glass. 

4. "The Santa Anas are blowing this weekend, it's going to be hot." There's no greater reminder that we don't have seasons than when someone utters these words in mid-September. Make sure to layer on the deodorant and crank up that portable fan you bought from Target because otherwise, your dog won't even want to cuddle with you.

5. "Obama is in town." This has nothing to do with politics. It just means that unless you drive a helicopter to and from work, your commute is screwed. You might as well schedule a happy hour or start a Russian novel audiobook because it's gonna be a while.

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