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12 things every New Yorker should know before they start dating in the city

12 things every New Yorker should know before they start dating in the city
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/superherb

Whether you just got out of a long term relationship, or you're a transplant who feels ready to take on dating in this town, finding love and romance in New York City can be a doozy. While you may have grand ambitions of meeting the love of your live on the roof deck of the Empire State Building or sharing a dessert at Serendipity 3 by Valentine's Day, there are a few things you should know before dating in NYC. 

1. If you find someone willing to travel to a completely different borough to date you, expect that you'll either be broken up in six months or living together in twelve, because New Yorkers are far too busy to manage commuting to Queens from the Bronx and work.

2. If you do date someone in a different borough and they're always making you go all the way out to Staten Island, Coney Island or City Island and never come to you, then they are not worthy.

3. When someone says they're too busy to hang out two weeks in a row, there's a good chance they actually mean it. Just because work is moving slow for you, does mean this isn't crunch time in their industry or at their business. 

4. Except, sometimes, it also means they want to ghost, but they know that's a jerk move so they're hoping that by saying that they're busy you'll find someone else and stop texting.

5. If a Tinder date introduces you to a great bar in your shared neighborhood, don't be too shocked if they're there with someone else the next week when you bring your roommates there — good date spots in the nabe are hard to come by!

6. Likewise, if you don't want recent Tinder dates to meet each other, mix up the date spots! Even if it means traveling one stop up or down your subway line, it'll be worth avoiding the awkwardness.

7. Spend enough time meeting up with different people on dating apps and you will meet a lifelong New Yorker who still lives with their parents. Proceed with caution, but appreciate the perks of an Upper East Side penthouse or Soho loft while you can. 

8. Sometimes you're going to have to repeat the mantra "Just because they have a [roof deck, puppy, in-unit washing machine,] doesn't mean I love them." 

9. Every long-running dating app, hook-up bar or club in this city has at one point led to wedding bells for one lucky couple. It has also ended in a sobbing session that lasts the whole Uber ride home for another. So don't believe the hype you hear from your friends either way.

10. Speaking of sobbing in an Uber — you're not a true New Yorker until you have both passionately made out and grossly cried while in the back of a vehicle, so don't feel shame when it happens to you.

11. If you're a Mets fan don't expect that you'll ever be able to change a Yankee's fan heart, no matter how many times you take them to Citi Field.

12. Never go looking for your Mr. Big. We understand you love Sex and the City, but do you really want that?! 

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