Saint Patrick’s Day for Sinners The Bell House; 9pm; $20
The ever-excitable Wasabassco Burlesque crew celebrates the wildest day of the year with a lovely lineup of flame-haired dames, including Varla Velour, Nasty Canasta, Sydni Deveraux and others, plus ginger sideshow stuntman and illusionist Albert Cadabra. If you’re inspired by all the bare flesh on display, flash a bit of green in the emerald-underwear contest.
New York City Gay Men’s Chorus: Big Gay Sing—Mind the Gap! Skirball Center for the Performing Arts; 8pm; $45–$69
New York’s cheeriest chorus boys raise their big, gay voices in their annual spring concert. This edition jumps the Pond with arrangements of songs by British pop artists including David Bowie, Queen, Adele, Dusty Springfield and the Spice Girls; old-school gay royalty Lorna Luft is the special guest.
Awesome Aughts: Music of the Early 2000s Union Hall; 11pm; free
Try not to cry to "What A Girl Wants" and "No More Drama" at this all-night tribute to the best hip-hop, R&B and pop songs from the days when boy bands still had "frosted tips" and Beyoncé was best known as a member of Destiny's Child.
Euphoria: Eurovision Song Contest Viewing Party Pieces; 9pm; free
Head to this live viewing party to catch all the acid-drenched, jewel-encrusted action from Stockholm, where representatives from various nations compete for musical supremacy while dressed in outfits that Liberace might have found a bit too flashy. You just might catch the next ABBA, Celine Dion or Julio Iglesias—all acts who owe their rather impressive careers to this wonderfully campy event.
St. Patrick’s Day at the Merchant’s House Museum; 7pm; $10–$30
New York's only preserved 19th-century home takes you through its fourth-floor servants' quarters, which were carefully restored and repainted in their original colors. Learn about the daily successes and struggles of the Irish immigrants who worked as staff in the mid–19th century. At the haunted house tour on Friday night, uncover the mystery of some of the bizarre occurrences that took place in the servants' quarters, and face the specters of family members who passed away in the house.
St. Patrick’s Weekend in Irish in New York St. Paul’s Chapel; 1pm; $20
If the traditional parade is too much for you, check out the lower-key, lower-Manhattan walking tour, themed especially for St. Patrick’s Day. Walkers will explore NYC's former “Little Ireland” district, learn about the incredible contribution Irish immigrants made to the overall history of the city, and understand why this day is more popular in New York than it is in Ireland.
Coffee & Tea Festival NYC Brooklyn Expo Center; 10am; $10–$35
At this 11th annual caffeine fest, catch a buzz with limitless samples of cups from more than 60 companies, including regional favorites like Greenpoint’s Cafe Grumpy, Queens’ small-batch roasters Jailhouse Coffee and SerendipiTea from Manhasset, NY. To complement the coffee, product exhibitors showcase their goods, such as olive oil from the Olive Table in Vermont and Bee Raw honey harvested from a single flora. Feeling bold? Get schooled at expert-led seminars like a matcha-brewing class by Ippodo Tea, or throw down with fellow amateur baristas in a latte-art showdown for a $250 cash prize.
Rites XXXVII: The Black Party 1260 Atlantic Ave; 10pm; $180
The Black Party weekend culminates in this all-night and most-of-the-next-day celebration of debauchery. Make sure to dress the part (i.e., whatever makes you feel sexy), and be prepared to have your mind blown by sexy-scary performances and epic DJ sets.
Pysanky Ukrainian Easter Egg Decoration Workshops The Ukrainian Museum; 1pm; $15–$25
If you’re bored of the typical pastel-colored eggs made with drugstore kits, up your game by learning how to create beautiful, intricately designed Ukrainian pysanky. This Ukrainian tradition predates Christianity in the region, with the patterned eggs playing a part in several folktales. The designs are drawn onto the eggs using a stylus, beeswax and special dyes, and many of the geometric motifs commonly used carry special significance—also, they look pretty damn cool.
Holi in the City Stage 48; 12pm; $35
Wear white and brace yourself for four stories of rainbow delight as Holi, the Hindu festival of colors, hits NYC. Dance in kaleidoscopic ecstasy with hundreds of strangers while you get covered in tinted powders, and enjoy hors d’oeuvres, a cash bar and live music. There’s no more cheerful way to usher in springtime.
Brooklyn St. Patrick’s Day Parade Prospect Park; 1pm; free
The British first conquered New York City right in Brooklyn Heights, and centuries later the Irish American Parade Committee still commemorates the 41st anniversary of the Battle of Brooklyn (as many of the committee members’ forefathers were involved in that war) and celebrates Irish-American contributions to New York City. At 12:45pm, the procession also honors the heroes and victims of 9/11.
NYC Improv Festival Peoples Improv Theater; noon; free–$10
Improvisers from around the country and NYC regulars take part in a weekend of performances, workshops and panels at the fifth-annual edition of this endless comedy bonanza, featuring over 200 shows. Most impressive is Saturday's lineup, which packs three separate stage with nearly twelve straight hours of concurrent performances.
Macy’s Flower Show Macy’s Herald Square; 10am; free
You could easily spend hours sniffing the aromatic blooms at this popular annual two-week floral exhibition, this year dubbed “America the Beautiful.” The ground level of Macy’s Herald Square transforms into a not-so-secret garden that’s covered in floor-to-ceiling greenery depicting the purple mountain majesties and fruited plains that we’re so, er, unaccustomed to in the concrete jungle.
Hong Kong Ballet Joyce Theater; 8pm; $45–$60
The Asian classical ballet company performs Krzysztof Pastor's In Light and Shadow,Nacho Duato's Castrati and an excerpt from Fei Bo's A Room of Her Own.
BBQ Films presents: Beetlejuice’s Wedding House of Yes; 5pm; $42.50
1988's ghoul comedy Beetlejuice remains a glimmering gem of yuppie satire, satanic set design and Harry Belafonte dance numbers. Enter a mad recreation of the film's spectacular wedding finale, brought to you by BBQ films, the insane immersive producers behind 2015's bloody Blade Rave and the Holiday on the Fhloston Paradise party. You'll have the chance to watch the Tim Burton classic with other costumed fans, then attend the wedding of Lydia and Beetlejuice. If any fans in the house are looking to tie the knot undead-style, ministers will be on-hand to marry them. Our word of advice: avoid the shrimp.