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15 ominous warnings you’ll only hear in New York

Will Gleason
Written by
Will Gleason

From first-date red flags to worrying directions, these 15 statements are sure to strike some fear in the heart of any New Yorker.

1. “Just so you know, he’s really nice. Don’t want you to get caught off guard.”

2. “But you have to drive to get there.”

3. “Be careful. A lot of 7th graders hang out on that street in the afternoon.”

4. The tiny yelp of a small dog from your new neighbor’s apartment.

5. “These sidewalk puddles are even bigger one block up from here.”

6. ’BEDBUGS’ scrawled Walking Dead-style on an abandoned piece of furniture. 

7. “Due to an earlier incident, this train is now running express.” 

8. “A slice there costs $2.50.”

9. “You’ll love this neighborhood! We just got a frozen yogurt place!”

10. “FYI. It’s cash only.”

11. “It’s a walk from the subway so give yourself some time.”

12. “Zero docking stations available in the near vicinity.”

13. “They’ve got a really great bottomless brunch. And it’s right next to a Korean karaoke place!”

14. “Don’t forget about alternate side today!”

15. “I’d love to move to Westchester one day.”

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