Dance Yourself Clean, Brooklyn Bowl; 11:30pm; $12
Acolytes of Purity Ring, CHVRCHES, Robyn, Empire of the Sun, and, of course, LCD Soundsystem can flock to the Bowl for a night of rapturous dancing to hard synth beats from their favorite bands. This L.A.-based party stops in NYC for one night only on its annual tour, so don't miss this chance to dance to music you actually like.
“The Olsen Twin Hiding from the Paparazzi,” THNK1994 Museum; noon; free
Last year Brooklyn comics and roomies Matt Harkins and Viviana Olen transformed their apartment into a satirical shrine to famed Olympic rivals Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, opening the museum to the public. Now, with an abandoned seven-room doctor’s office as their new venue, the duo is paying homage to our favorite fashion icons/Full House alums/magical sprites Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen by highlighting what they do best: stylishly avoid paparazzi.
Randall’s Island Historical Tour, Randall’s Island Park; 6pm; free
You don’t have to be a New York know-it-all or a history buff to enjoy the free tours provided by NYC Parks. In fact, we think everyone will enjoy this stroll through Randall’s Island—because who doesn’t love taking photos of those skyline views? Apart from boosting your Instagram feed, you’ll learn about the two colossal bridges that span the park and about the man—Robert Moses—who brought together the three island’s once-separate three masses.
Awkward Sex…and the City, The Pleasure Chest; 8pm; $15, at the door $20
Experience all the second hand embarrassment you can handle as a collection of New York’s funniest comics and writers spill their guts on their worst sex and dating experiences. Hosted by the relentlessly energetic Natalie Wall, this is one toe-curlingly fun storytelling show.
Bacon and Beer Classic, Citi Field; 7pm; $69–$139
Winter’s over and it’s time to break those resolutions—what better way than a no-holds-barred blowout featuring 30 bacon-stuffed dishes and more than 100 craft brews? For three hours, stuff your face with porcine plates from restaurants like Bareburger and Tres Carnes while guzzling beers and ciders from breweries both local (Gun Hill Brewing Co., Original Sin Hard Cider) and national (Anchor Brewing in California, Harpoon Brewery in Vermont).
Festivals of Colors: Holi NYC, Brooklyn; 1pm; $30, advance $25
This Brooklyn-based celebration of the Hindu spring festival of Holi drew more than 3,500 people last year, so prepare for an almighty mess as you color-bomb your pals with brightly hued gulal powder and dance into the evening to DJs and live bands. Go to festivalofcolors.org for more information.
The Bomb, Gotham Hall; 7pm, 10pm; $45
Premiering at the Tribeca Film Festival, The Bomb is a revolutionary film experience that explores the history, impact, cultural fascination and very real present-day threat of nuclear weapons through a multisensory installation. Archival footage, animation, and lifelike simulations will be projected on a 360-degree floor-to-ceiling screen, while electronic act The Acid performs live in the middle of the room. The film traces the deadly weapons' history from the Trinity Test in 1945 to the frightening state of nuclear weaponry today—including the undeniable role the U.S. plays.
Lovely Happenings, Dune Studios; 11:30am; $40, at the door $45
Pinterest fanatics: Step away from the laptop and head to this cooking, fashion, decorating and beauty DIY extravaganza. Professional beauticians, designers, bloggers and other experts lead mini workshops and discussions; participants get hands-on experience. Replenish your energy with light refreshments and cocktails that taste as good as the pictures look.=
Queens International Market, New York Hall of Science; 6pm; free
New York’s open-late market features a range of international grub, art and merchandise from up to 100 vendors, as well as free performances—think Hawaiian dance troupes and Bollywood dancers—to keep folks entertained. Our favorite part (besides the $5 price cap on tasty bites like tater twists, takoyaki, fried ice cream and, er, Trinidadian shark sandwiches) is the hours. You can shop, dine and chug a beer (or five) at the brand-new beer garden from 6pm until well after the sun goes down.
NYC Hot Sauce Expo, Brooklyn Expo Center; 10am; $10–$100
Feel the burn at this two-do celebration of all things spicy. You can sample dozens of vendors’ wares and take part in tongue-searing challenges, like the burrito, guacamole or pizza eating contests. Champs of sauce will be announced at the Screaming Mi Mi Awards, in categories such as Asian Style, Fruit-Based and Best Hot Sauce Label Artwork. A lunchbox ticket gets you five beers, a bottle of High River Sauces and a barbecue sandwich platter.
Bust Craftacular, Factory Floor at Industry City; 11am; free
Bust—a kick-ass feminist magazine—returns to Brooklyn with another action-packed indie shopaganza. Apart from stellar shopping vendors, the spring edition features local stylists, spas and cosmetic companies offering new loot and free services. With beauty booty like Bobbi Brown makeovers courtesy Girlz Time Boutique and Spa, braids and coifs by Amika Styleblow and a DIY nail-art bar provided by the creators of Floss Gloss, you’ll walk out a new woman.
The Big Cheesy, Open House; 11am; $29.99
For its fifth round, the grilled-cheese showdown presents a lineup of six sandwich masters, such as Sons of Essex, Hudson Common and Mrs. Dorsey's Kitchen, who'll riff on the childhood classic with variations like garlic-challah-bacon and pulled pork–pepperjack. A ticket gets you an hour-long sampling of the curd creations, a pair of Goose Island winter ales and a vote for this year’s victor. A portion of the proceeds benefits the Food Bank for NYC.
Tulip Festival, West Side Community Garden; 9am; free
Every Spring, the West Side Community Garden overflows with tulips, and with over 13,000 in bloom this year, the neighborhood space will be alive with color. Visit the free garden for horticulture tours, flower arrangement courses and live performances or to just enjoy the verdant scents and serene views.
The Muppet Vault, Union Hall; 7:30pm; $8
The folks at Muppet fan website ToughPigs (toughpigs.com) are busting out clips of everyone’s favorite monsters to celebrate their triumphant return to TV. Take in rare video morsels while participating in a trivia competition and downing themed drinks.
Arbor Fest, Queens Botanical Garden; 11am; $10
Have some fun in the (fingers crossed) sun at the Queens Botanical Garden by celebrating Earth Day with live music, a petting zoo and a beer garden.